Chapter 1: About going for a ride...
Tracy's Brain: Come on, Body, up and at 'em! Going for a long ride on the trail today. It's supposed to be 63º!
Common Sense: It's not 63º. And it's raining.
Brain: So what? Let's go. I already planned to go do this today.
Common Sense: Well, let's at least put on some long tights.
Brain: Nope. I already have my clothes out. Shorts today. It's supposed to be 63!
Legs: Wait, don't we get a say in this?
Brain: No. Anyway, the tights are in the wash.
Common Sense: We're going to get all muddy anyway. We don't need clean clothes on.
Legs: Maybe we don't want to go. Cold and shorts don't go.
Brain: Shut up and get in the car. We'll have ice cream when we get home.
Stomach: I'm in!
Common Sense: Can we at least make it Wawa coffee? Ice cream does not sound appealing when it is cold out.
Brain: Sure, but it's not cold out. It's 63!
Common Sense: <face palm>
Legs: I'm still not on board.
Brain: Tough. Nothing you can do about it.
Legs: Oh yeah?
Knee: Ow! Ow! Ow! Please don't go.
Brain: Oh quit your whining. It's a bike ride. You aren't needed anyway.
Common Sense: Umm... what?
Brain: Low impact, remember?
Common Sense: Sorry, Knee, it doesn't look like I'm winning this one.
Brain: Yes! #Winning!
Stomach: Coffee, coffee, coffee...
Common Sense: It's not 63º. And it's raining.
Brain: So what? Let's go. I already planned to go do this today.
Common Sense: Well, let's at least put on some long tights.
Brain: Nope. I already have my clothes out. Shorts today. It's supposed to be 63!
Legs: Wait, don't we get a say in this?
Brain: No. Anyway, the tights are in the wash.
Common Sense: We're going to get all muddy anyway. We don't need clean clothes on.
Legs: Maybe we don't want to go. Cold and shorts don't go.
Brain: Shut up and get in the car. We'll have ice cream when we get home.
Stomach: I'm in!
Common Sense: Can we at least make it Wawa coffee? Ice cream does not sound appealing when it is cold out.
Brain: Sure, but it's not cold out. It's 63!
Common Sense: <face palm>
Legs: I'm still not on board.
Brain: Tough. Nothing you can do about it.
Legs: Oh yeah?
Knee: Ow! Ow! Ow! Please don't go.
Brain: Oh quit your whining. It's a bike ride. You aren't needed anyway.
Common Sense: Umm... what?
Brain: Low impact, remember?
Common Sense: Sorry, Knee, it doesn't look like I'm winning this one.
Brain: Yes! #Winning!
Stomach: Coffee, coffee, coffee...
Chapter 2: Stomach Revolts
Stomach: You didn’t give me coffee yesterday!
Common Sense: Yes, well, did you see how I looked yesterday after riding the bike through rain and mud? Help me out, Eyes.
Eyes: True story. Not pretty.
Stomach: You do not want to upset me. I have ways of torturing you. Now get me coffee.
Common Sense: It’s after 4, we can’t have coffee now.
Memory: That’s right. We’ll never get to sleep. Remember the last time?
Stomach: Someone turn off Memory. I want coffee.
Common Sense: OK, then, Brain, help us out here.
Brain: Huh? What?
Common Sense: Oh, that’s right. No coffee.
Stomach: I’m waiting. And I’m going to get LOUD! COFFEE!!
Liver:This is getting annoying, Stomach.
Stomach: Hey, who asked you? You wanna rumble? Better watch it, because I can rumble…
GROWWWWLLLL.
Common Sense: OK, Stomach, you’ve made yourself known. Happy? Because we still aren’t going to Wawa.
Stomach: You will pay…
Common Sense: There’s a donut in the fridge. Go crazy.
Stomach: Donut? Donut! DONUT!!!
Common Sense: You okay now? No more revolt?
Stomach: Hmm? Donut?
Common Sense: Good enough. How are you doing, Brain?
Brain: Sugar rush! Let’s go to the gym!
Common Sense: Yes, well, did you see how I looked yesterday after riding the bike through rain and mud? Help me out, Eyes.
Eyes: True story. Not pretty.
Stomach: You do not want to upset me. I have ways of torturing you. Now get me coffee.
Common Sense: It’s after 4, we can’t have coffee now.
Memory: That’s right. We’ll never get to sleep. Remember the last time?
Stomach: Someone turn off Memory. I want coffee.
Common Sense: OK, then, Brain, help us out here.
Brain: Huh? What?
Common Sense: Oh, that’s right. No coffee.
Stomach: I’m waiting. And I’m going to get LOUD! COFFEE!!
Liver:This is getting annoying, Stomach.
Stomach: Hey, who asked you? You wanna rumble? Better watch it, because I can rumble…
GROWWWWLLLL.
Common Sense: OK, Stomach, you’ve made yourself known. Happy? Because we still aren’t going to Wawa.
Stomach: You will pay…
Common Sense: There’s a donut in the fridge. Go crazy.
Stomach: Donut? Donut! DONUT!!!
Common Sense: You okay now? No more revolt?
Stomach: Hmm? Donut?
Common Sense: Good enough. How are you doing, Brain?
Brain: Sugar rush! Let’s go to the gym!
Chapter 3: A Surprise Early Morning Gym Visit
Eyes: Warning! Warning! I see the inhaler.
Brain: Shoot. I was really trying to keep this quiet.
Legs: What? What time is it?
Brain: 9 a.m.
Stomach: Umm, you know we JUST ate breakfast?
Brain: That's why I was keeping it a secret.
Common Sense: That might not have been the wisest idea.
Brain: Today, we're just doing sprints. It will be over before you know it.
Common Sense: Sprints?? REALLY not a wise idea.
Stomach: Legs? You wanna weigh in here?
Legs: We had a rest day yesterday. We're good.
Butt: We also had a sciatica flare up yesterday. This could be a problem.
Brain: Here we go... entering 9.4 mph...
Stomach: Wait! Abort! Abort!
Brain: Too late...
Stomach: Uuuuuuuuggggggghhhhh... yes it is...
All the Blood in the Body: Hey! Stomach needs help! Let's all go and meet there.
Stomach: Bad idea! Bad idea!
Blood: Too crowded in here. Food, you will need to leave.
Brain: Relax, the first sprint is over.
Stomach: FIRST? You intend to do more?? Do you realize how bad this could have been?
Vanity: Eww. That would have been very bad, very bad. Brain, you better listen to Stomach.
Brain: Nope. Get over it. 5 more to go. We don't quit.
Vanity: Stupid.
Stomach: Subconscious, help us out?
Subconscious: Whoops! There goes the iPod. Can't run without that.
Stomach: Excellent...
Vanity: No! How embarrassing!
Brain: Please. No one else here is running over 9 mph. Go ahead and let them say a word to me.
Stomach: Okay, go pick up the iPod. (snicker)
Subconscious: Aww, did I step on a shoelace?
Vanity: Really, we've got to get out of here before people start laughing.
Brain: No! We finish! 9.4...
Stomach: Not againnnnnn...
*** after 5 replays and near Stomach-led revolt***
Stomach: OK, we're done. Get out of here quick before I do!
Body opens door to leave.
Stomach: Ahhh. Fresh air. That's all I needed. Better now.
Brain: Whiner.
Brain: Shoot. I was really trying to keep this quiet.
Legs: What? What time is it?
Brain: 9 a.m.
Stomach: Umm, you know we JUST ate breakfast?
Brain: That's why I was keeping it a secret.
Common Sense: That might not have been the wisest idea.
Brain: Today, we're just doing sprints. It will be over before you know it.
Common Sense: Sprints?? REALLY not a wise idea.
Stomach: Legs? You wanna weigh in here?
Legs: We had a rest day yesterday. We're good.
Butt: We also had a sciatica flare up yesterday. This could be a problem.
Brain: Here we go... entering 9.4 mph...
Stomach: Wait! Abort! Abort!
Brain: Too late...
Stomach: Uuuuuuuuggggggghhhhh... yes it is...
All the Blood in the Body: Hey! Stomach needs help! Let's all go and meet there.
Stomach: Bad idea! Bad idea!
Blood: Too crowded in here. Food, you will need to leave.
Brain: Relax, the first sprint is over.
Stomach: FIRST? You intend to do more?? Do you realize how bad this could have been?
Vanity: Eww. That would have been very bad, very bad. Brain, you better listen to Stomach.
Brain: Nope. Get over it. 5 more to go. We don't quit.
Vanity: Stupid.
Stomach: Subconscious, help us out?
Subconscious: Whoops! There goes the iPod. Can't run without that.
Stomach: Excellent...
Vanity: No! How embarrassing!
Brain: Please. No one else here is running over 9 mph. Go ahead and let them say a word to me.
Stomach: Okay, go pick up the iPod. (snicker)
Subconscious: Aww, did I step on a shoelace?
Vanity: Really, we've got to get out of here before people start laughing.
Brain: No! We finish! 9.4...
Stomach: Not againnnnnn...
*** after 5 replays and near Stomach-led revolt***
Stomach: OK, we're done. Get out of here quick before I do!
Body opens door to leave.
Stomach: Ahhh. Fresh air. That's all I needed. Better now.
Brain: Whiner.
Chapter 4: Birthday Present
Brain: The boy wants this for his birthday.
Common Sense: That’s not even a toy. It’s big, and it’s just going to sit around his room with the multitude of other things he just has to look at.
Brain: Hand? What are you doing?
Hand: Putting in the credit card number. Sorry, it’s just reflex.
Brain: What? Wait, we don’t want to buy it. How often do you do this?
Hand: I don’t think you want to know the answer to that.
Brain: Something must be done about that. We better shut down Memory.
Memory: You've done that before. As a matter of fact, you do it constantly. Never with good results.
Hand: Wouldn't make a difference. The numbers aren't kept there anyway. I just use Force of Habit.
Brain: We have that?
Common Sense: Of course, but you wouldn't know. You two don't speak, remember?
Brain: No, I didn't know that.
Common Sense: That's exactly the point.
Brain: OK, so how much does Force of Habit do around here?
Common Sense: Everything that you don't need to worry about.
Brain: But I need to worry about everything!
Common Sense: Exactly. You don't.
Hand: Done. Package arriving in 3-5 business days.
Brain: Hey wait! Didn't you hear me say not to buy that?
Hand: Sorry. Force of Habit out ranks you.
Brain: Mutiny! I must destroy Force of Habit.
Common Sense: You really don't want to do that...
Brain: Complete control! It will be mine!
Common Sense: You don't listen to me, do you?
Brain: Nope. I am your fearless leader.
Common Sense: That's not a good thing. I am seeing the future, and it's not pretty.
Common Sense: That’s not even a toy. It’s big, and it’s just going to sit around his room with the multitude of other things he just has to look at.
Brain: Hand? What are you doing?
Hand: Putting in the credit card number. Sorry, it’s just reflex.
Brain: What? Wait, we don’t want to buy it. How often do you do this?
Hand: I don’t think you want to know the answer to that.
Brain: Something must be done about that. We better shut down Memory.
Memory: You've done that before. As a matter of fact, you do it constantly. Never with good results.
Hand: Wouldn't make a difference. The numbers aren't kept there anyway. I just use Force of Habit.
Brain: We have that?
Common Sense: Of course, but you wouldn't know. You two don't speak, remember?
Brain: No, I didn't know that.
Common Sense: That's exactly the point.
Brain: OK, so how much does Force of Habit do around here?
Common Sense: Everything that you don't need to worry about.
Brain: But I need to worry about everything!
Common Sense: Exactly. You don't.
Hand: Done. Package arriving in 3-5 business days.
Brain: Hey wait! Didn't you hear me say not to buy that?
Hand: Sorry. Force of Habit out ranks you.
Brain: Mutiny! I must destroy Force of Habit.
Common Sense: You really don't want to do that...
Brain: Complete control! It will be mine!
Common Sense: You don't listen to me, do you?
Brain: Nope. I am your fearless leader.
Common Sense: That's not a good thing. I am seeing the future, and it's not pretty.
Chapter 5: Laziness & Cats
Brain: Let’s go!
Legs: Nope. Cat’s on the lap. Feels too good. We’re not moving.
Heart: Aww, she’s purring too. She loves us. We can’t disappoint her.
Brain: What is wrong with you!
Legs: Yeah, we’re not going anywhere. Heart says so.
Brain: Who put Heart in control? I object! Get up and let’s go!
Heart: Aww, we can’t do that. Kitty loves us!
Brain: Hello, Common Sense, are you going to jump in here? They think the cat cares if we get up or not.
Common Sense: True. She will be just as happy on a warm chair.
Brain: Thank you. Let’s go. We’ve got sugar to burn off!
Legs: Yeah, I don’t think so.
Heart: Yes, home is the best place to be. Let’s just stay.
Brain: You will do what I command. Get up.
Legs: Stop being so heady.
Brain: But I’M THE HEAD! It’s my JOB. You’re making this difficult. Obey me.
Hand: Aww, she’s licking me.
Common Sense: OK, that’s not cool.
Heart: See? She loves me.
Legs: Nope. Cat’s on the lap. Feels too good. We’re not moving.
Heart: Aww, she’s purring too. She loves us. We can’t disappoint her.
Brain: What is wrong with you!
Legs: Yeah, we’re not going anywhere. Heart says so.
Brain: Who put Heart in control? I object! Get up and let’s go!
Heart: Aww, we can’t do that. Kitty loves us!
Brain: Hello, Common Sense, are you going to jump in here? They think the cat cares if we get up or not.
Common Sense: True. She will be just as happy on a warm chair.
Brain: Thank you. Let’s go. We’ve got sugar to burn off!
Legs: Yeah, I don’t think so.
Heart: Yes, home is the best place to be. Let’s just stay.
Brain: You will do what I command. Get up.
Legs: Stop being so heady.
Brain: But I’M THE HEAD! It’s my JOB. You’re making this difficult. Obey me.
Hand: Aww, she’s licking me.
Common Sense: OK, that’s not cool.
Heart: See? She loves me.
Chapter 6: Thinking Ahead, I Think
Brain: Today, we will get our coffee BEFORE our long bike ride.
Stomach: Yea! I love you!
Bladder: Coffee before a long bike ride. Would you like to hear my opinion?
Brain: No. Here we are at Wawa!
Eyes: Oooo, I see donuts...
Stomach: Donuts! Please, please, please can we get one?
Common Sense: Coffee AND a donut before a long bike ride? Umm...
Brain: Sure, it's only 89¢.
Common Sense: It's not the money I'm worried about here.
Brain: Yes, you're right. It's the brain power and energy we will have!
Common Sense: Well, how about we save the donut for after the ride.
Stomach: No, eat now. If we wait it will melt and get sticky.
Hands: Eww, sticky. Yes, eat now.
Common Sense: Donuts don't melt!
***10 minutes down the road***
Memory: Don't forget, we were going to stop at the book store and try to sell some books.
Brain: Wooo Hoooo! I don't think we even need to stop! Let's just open the window and throw them out there!
Common Sense: Get it together! Come on let's sell books. Wait, you missed the exit!
Foot: Sorry. All the excess energy seems to have drained down here to the accelerator foot.
Brain: Yea! Come on! Let's go get on that bike!
*** 20 miles into the bike ride***
Legs: Whoa! Where did that wall come from?
Eyes: What wall?
Legs: The wall we just rammed into. Honestly, I think we're broken. We can't go on.
Eyes: Umm... there's no wall.
Legs: Well, then, we're done, right?
Brain: 10 miles to go.
Bladder: Oh, by the way, are you ready to hear my opinion on the coffee NOW?
Common Sense: Nobody ever listens to me.
Chapter 7: Learning About Softball As A Grown Up
Back: Hmm. Lifting out of bed is harder than usual today.
Arms: Yes, moving anything is definitely more difficult.
Brain: But what a great game we had yesterday! It sure has been a long time since we were able to play catcher like that. What fun to keep jumping up after every pitch like that.
Arms: That's right, YOU did this to us.
Brain: I'm not going to take all the credit for this. Years of conditioning made it all reflex. Force of Habit, remember?
Common Sense: That habit should be long gone. It's been years since we caught daily.
Long Term Memory: Nope. Got it all right here on the instruction sheet. "Ball comes, we move. Lots. And fast." Can't throw away something important like that. That, and the names of all our elementary school teachers. We've also got room in here for elements on the periodic table and digits of Pi. Just need to move out some lesser items such as whether or not we brushed our teeth today and why we entered the room.
Legs: We are going to need to revise those instructions. Times have changed. We are much older now.
Brain: Age means nothing. We still have muscles, don't we? Nothing's different. Same body. Keep moving. OK, down the stairs now.
Legs: Aaaaa! You're killing me! No more stairs. Maybe we can try to go down sitting.
Butt: Are you kidding me?
Legs: All I know is the movement required for stairs is just. too. painful. Phew. At least we are at the bottom now.
Memory: Did you bring the laundry down? It's laundry day.
Brain: Nope. Sorry. I always seem to be forgetting something. Oh this crazy age thing.
Arms: See what we're saying? Older means less functional. Stop acting like a 20-year-old.
Brain: We just have to learn to deal with it. Back up the stairs!
Legs: Noooooo!
Arms: Yes, moving anything is definitely more difficult.
Brain: But what a great game we had yesterday! It sure has been a long time since we were able to play catcher like that. What fun to keep jumping up after every pitch like that.
Arms: That's right, YOU did this to us.
Brain: I'm not going to take all the credit for this. Years of conditioning made it all reflex. Force of Habit, remember?
Common Sense: That habit should be long gone. It's been years since we caught daily.
Long Term Memory: Nope. Got it all right here on the instruction sheet. "Ball comes, we move. Lots. And fast." Can't throw away something important like that. That, and the names of all our elementary school teachers. We've also got room in here for elements on the periodic table and digits of Pi. Just need to move out some lesser items such as whether or not we brushed our teeth today and why we entered the room.
Legs: We are going to need to revise those instructions. Times have changed. We are much older now.
Brain: Age means nothing. We still have muscles, don't we? Nothing's different. Same body. Keep moving. OK, down the stairs now.
Legs: Aaaaa! You're killing me! No more stairs. Maybe we can try to go down sitting.
Butt: Are you kidding me?
Legs: All I know is the movement required for stairs is just. too. painful. Phew. At least we are at the bottom now.
Memory: Did you bring the laundry down? It's laundry day.
Brain: Nope. Sorry. I always seem to be forgetting something. Oh this crazy age thing.
Arms: See what we're saying? Older means less functional. Stop acting like a 20-year-old.
Brain: We just have to learn to deal with it. Back up the stairs!
Legs: Noooooo!
Chapter 8: Allergies, Smallergies
Brain: Aaaahh, lovely day for some exercise! When do you ever get the privilege of going out in snow when it's 66º?
Common Sense: Hmm. That's not snow. Those are petals from the trees. Better bring extra tissues.
Brain: Why? We don't have allergies. Just asthma. We'll be fine. Hey, Hand, what are you doing with that inhaler? We aren't even working hard enough for an asthma attack.
Hand: Sorry, I got the emergency call from Lungs. It overrides you.
Brain: What's your problem, Lungs? We don't have allergies! Stop being a sissy, you hear me?
Ears: No, we're choosing not to hear you on this one.
Nose: Hey, look how fast I can run!
Funny Bone: Ha ha, good one, Nose!
Brain: No, that was NOT a good one. No laughing.
Lungs: Yes, please, no laughing. Breathing is getting pretty tough.
Brain: Keep it to yourself, Wimp! Hey, Eyes, what's going on with you?
Nose: Yeah, are you trying to race me to see whose liquid discharge reaches Chin first?
Chin: Oh help me. Get out the tissues.
Brain: We only brought one tissue, and we're going to save it until we need it. We don't have allergies.
Chin: I think we need it now.
Brain: No, now come on, Eyes, we'll just put on some sunglasses. You are just getting too much wind.
Eyes: We already have sunglasses on.
Brain: Oh, good. That must be why I couldn't find them earlier. Hey, Hand. I see that. Put that tissue back. We will not be weak! We do not have allergies.
Lungs: Then you better watch out because we are all breaking down at once. We may never be able to exercise again.
Brain: Hmm. Maybe we have allergies.
Common Sense: Hmm. That's not snow. Those are petals from the trees. Better bring extra tissues.
Brain: Why? We don't have allergies. Just asthma. We'll be fine. Hey, Hand, what are you doing with that inhaler? We aren't even working hard enough for an asthma attack.
Hand: Sorry, I got the emergency call from Lungs. It overrides you.
Brain: What's your problem, Lungs? We don't have allergies! Stop being a sissy, you hear me?
Ears: No, we're choosing not to hear you on this one.
Nose: Hey, look how fast I can run!
Funny Bone: Ha ha, good one, Nose!
Brain: No, that was NOT a good one. No laughing.
Lungs: Yes, please, no laughing. Breathing is getting pretty tough.
Brain: Keep it to yourself, Wimp! Hey, Eyes, what's going on with you?
Nose: Yeah, are you trying to race me to see whose liquid discharge reaches Chin first?
Chin: Oh help me. Get out the tissues.
Brain: We only brought one tissue, and we're going to save it until we need it. We don't have allergies.
Chin: I think we need it now.
Brain: No, now come on, Eyes, we'll just put on some sunglasses. You are just getting too much wind.
Eyes: We already have sunglasses on.
Brain: Oh, good. That must be why I couldn't find them earlier. Hey, Hand. I see that. Put that tissue back. We will not be weak! We do not have allergies.
Lungs: Then you better watch out because we are all breaking down at once. We may never be able to exercise again.
Brain: Hmm. Maybe we have allergies.
Chapter 9: I Need a Nap
Brain: Ah, Sunday afternoon. The one day I can count on for a nap.
Routine: Yep, I've got everything on shut down.
Common Sense: Wait! Don't fade away! We have softball practice. No nap today.
Eyes: Too late. We're fading.
Legs: This way, Body, up to bed.
Routine: Yep, I've got everything on shut down.
Common Sense: Wait! Don't fade away! We have softball practice. No nap today.
Eyes: Too late. We're fading.
Legs: This way, Body, up to bed.
Chapter 10: A New Machine at the Gym
Brain: Ooo, look a new machine.
Common Sense: Okay, take a look.
Brain: Hey, it says it works deltoids. Our deltoids could use some work.
Deltoids: Excuse me?
Brain: Let's give it a try.
Common Sense: Read directions first. Read...
Arms: Oww! What are you doing?
Brain: Whoops. Okay, that wasn't right. Let's try this.
Butt: I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be involved in this. You definitely are not facing the right direction.
Brain: Hmm. Sitting? Standing? Push? Pull? I really don't know how this is supposed to work. Oh well, we'll figure this out.
Vanity: OK, well, you better figure it out soon. People are starting to look.
Common Sense: Let's ask a trainer.
Brain: Are you kidding? Look like I don't know what I'm doing? I'll just keep trying.
Arms: This is definitely not right. We already did biceps.
Biceps: Aaaaa! You're killing me!
Deltoids: And I'm still waiting.
Brain: I think I've got it now. We just need more weight.
Arms: What???
Deltoids: Yeah. Bring it.
Arms: You're not even doing anything.
Deltoids: That's how in shape we are.
Brain: Sixty-five pounds. That should do it.
Arms: But I can't do any more!
Brain: So we'll do fewer reps.
Arms: Nope. We're done.
Deltoids: Ah. So fit. Good workout.
Common Sense: Okay, take a look.
Brain: Hey, it says it works deltoids. Our deltoids could use some work.
Deltoids: Excuse me?
Brain: Let's give it a try.
Common Sense: Read directions first. Read...
Arms: Oww! What are you doing?
Brain: Whoops. Okay, that wasn't right. Let's try this.
Butt: I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be involved in this. You definitely are not facing the right direction.
Brain: Hmm. Sitting? Standing? Push? Pull? I really don't know how this is supposed to work. Oh well, we'll figure this out.
Vanity: OK, well, you better figure it out soon. People are starting to look.
Common Sense: Let's ask a trainer.
Brain: Are you kidding? Look like I don't know what I'm doing? I'll just keep trying.
Arms: This is definitely not right. We already did biceps.
Biceps: Aaaaa! You're killing me!
Deltoids: And I'm still waiting.
Brain: I think I've got it now. We just need more weight.
Arms: What???
Deltoids: Yeah. Bring it.
Arms: You're not even doing anything.
Deltoids: That's how in shape we are.
Brain: Sixty-five pounds. That should do it.
Arms: But I can't do any more!
Brain: So we'll do fewer reps.
Arms: Nope. We're done.
Deltoids: Ah. So fit. Good workout.
Chapter 11: After the Flood
** Body stands with bike on the trail where a sign is posted that says:
Danger: Trail Closed Due to Flooding**
Brain: Hmm. I wonder what this means.
Common Sense: You don't really need to spend too long on that. It means we're turning around and going home.
Brain: Ha! Noooo, this can't mean us.
** Another bike rider arrives, stops, reads sign. **
Mouth: You going in?
Other Rider: Heck yeah!
Brain: See?
Common Sense: So you not the only stupid person in this county.
Mouth: Wheeee!
Brain: Wow, that's a big puddle.
Common Sense: That's not a puddle, it's the Perkiomen Creek.
Brain: Nah, it's just a puddle. I can see the other side over there.
Common Sense: It's the Creek. There are geese swimming in it.
Brain: Not for long!
Common Sense: I wouldn't make the geese angry, you know.
All Lower Extremities: Brrrrrrr!
Feet: We'll never be dry again.
Brain: Wow, deeper than I thought.
Common Sense: That's because this is the Creek!
Legs: Mud. We are caked in mud.
Stomach: Cake?
Common Sense: Do NOT eat that. It's not cake.
Brain: Aww, yuck. The mud that just flew up onto the Garmin was white.
Stomach: Frosting!
Common Sense: No, not frosting. I told you not to upset those geese.
Brain: Tongue! Get back in that mouth!
Tongue: Take it easy, I was just going to help Thumb clean off the Garmin.
Thumb: Really? How does this become my job?
Brain: Well, we only brought one tissue, since we do NOT have allergies, and we might need that for later. And we can't wash it off with water, because we need the water. OK, Thumb, you're on.
Thumb: Ugh.
Feet: Did you realize we haven't heard from Toes in a while?
Brain: Oh well. They aren't that important.
Common Sense: You sure about that?
Brain: We've gotten this far without even noticing they were numb.
Feet: Yeah, talk to us when we're off the bike, and you have to walk somewhere.
Chapter 12: Asthma (with my apologies- this one is more serious)
Brain: Ah, what a beautiful day for a run.
Common Sense: Beautiful day, yes, but the hidden pollen is going to kill us.
Brain: But look, the sun is shining, and it's nice and warm. Ooo! I'll wear short sleeves and get a tan.
Vanity: Farmer tan. We don't want that.
Brain: Oh well. It will all balance out eventually.
Vanity: I'm not so sure about that.
Brain: Here we go. Aaaahhh, what beautiful air...
Lungs: Nope. Not beautiful. Not... beautiful.
Brain: Air! Need air! Everyone get on this!
Nose: I'm not big enough to get what we need.
Vanity: Wow, that's the first you've ever not been big enough.
Brain: Air.
Nose: You said that.
Brain: I know. It's all I can think of. Help!
Mouth: Doing what I can. Gulping all the air I can.
Lungs: Really? I'm not getting it.
Throat: That's because I'm choking! I'm too swollen to let the air in.
Brain: Need to open Throat.
Lungs: Okay, I'll push from my end.
*cough, cough*
Mouth: Okay, refilling...
Lungs: Still not getting it!
Brain: Help! All functions shut down and solve this problem!
Legs: Gotcha. Stopped.
Fingers: Here's the inhaler.
Brain: Use it!
**uses inhaler**
Lungs: Aaaaahhh. Air. :)
Brain: Aaaahhh. Air.
Throat: Yuck.
Brain: Sorry, Throat. Small price to pay. Moving on.
Common Sense: Beautiful day, yes, but the hidden pollen is going to kill us.
Brain: But look, the sun is shining, and it's nice and warm. Ooo! I'll wear short sleeves and get a tan.
Vanity: Farmer tan. We don't want that.
Brain: Oh well. It will all balance out eventually.
Vanity: I'm not so sure about that.
Brain: Here we go. Aaaahhh, what beautiful air...
Lungs: Nope. Not beautiful. Not... beautiful.
Brain: Air! Need air! Everyone get on this!
Nose: I'm not big enough to get what we need.
Vanity: Wow, that's the first you've ever not been big enough.
Brain: Air.
Nose: You said that.
Brain: I know. It's all I can think of. Help!
Mouth: Doing what I can. Gulping all the air I can.
Lungs: Really? I'm not getting it.
Throat: That's because I'm choking! I'm too swollen to let the air in.
Brain: Need to open Throat.
Lungs: Okay, I'll push from my end.
*cough, cough*
Mouth: Okay, refilling...
Lungs: Still not getting it!
Brain: Help! All functions shut down and solve this problem!
Legs: Gotcha. Stopped.
Fingers: Here's the inhaler.
Brain: Use it!
**uses inhaler**
Lungs: Aaaaahhh. Air. :)
Brain: Aaaahhh. Air.
Throat: Yuck.
Brain: Sorry, Throat. Small price to pay. Moving on.
Chapter 13: Birthday
Common Sense: Alarm says we have to wake up.
Brain: Uh, no thanks. Hand?
Hand: On it.
Eyes: You don't need my help, do you, Hand?
Hand: Nope. I know exactly where the snooze button is.
Common Sense: No, let's start this day. Gotta make the most of it!
Brain: That's right, it's our birthday. 40 years old.
Legs: Yes, 40 years old. We can't move now.
Back: Yeah, I'm not getting up. I'm too old now.
Brain: Really? I don't feel any different. Then of course, I don't remember yesterday at all.
Back: See? We're old now.
Common Sense: We're only one day older than yesterday. Come on, out of bed.
Legs: No, yesterday, we were in our 30's. Now we are in our 40's. This is going to take a while to coax us out of this comfy bed.
Common Sense: Well, let's see. There will be ice cream today.
Stomach: What? What? Ice cream? I'm here. I'm awake. Come on, everyone, out of bed!
Memory: Remember, Stomach, we have to be careful with ice cream in our old age. We're now lactose intolerant.
Stomach: Brain can take care of that. That's Colon's problem anyway.
Colon: Ugh. Nooo. Don't mess me up again.
Taste Buds: Sorry, Colon, we're all on the ice cream bandwagon. You'll have to just cope.
Common Sense: No ice cream, though, unless we get out of bed! Come on, let's go. Why is no one moving?
Back: Brain went back to sleep. No one is telling us what to do.
Common Sense: No worries. Some kid will be in soon to jump on the bed.
Stomach: Good. Because I want my ice cream.
Common Sense: It's 7:00 in the morning?
Stomach: Well, we're 40 now. There's no telling how much longer we've got. Eat ice cream any chance we can!
Colon: Excuses, Excuses.
Stomach: Hey, whatever it takes. Now, someone get me my ice cream.
Brain: Uh, no thanks. Hand?
Hand: On it.
Eyes: You don't need my help, do you, Hand?
Hand: Nope. I know exactly where the snooze button is.
Common Sense: No, let's start this day. Gotta make the most of it!
Brain: That's right, it's our birthday. 40 years old.
Legs: Yes, 40 years old. We can't move now.
Back: Yeah, I'm not getting up. I'm too old now.
Brain: Really? I don't feel any different. Then of course, I don't remember yesterday at all.
Back: See? We're old now.
Common Sense: We're only one day older than yesterday. Come on, out of bed.
Legs: No, yesterday, we were in our 30's. Now we are in our 40's. This is going to take a while to coax us out of this comfy bed.
Common Sense: Well, let's see. There will be ice cream today.
Stomach: What? What? Ice cream? I'm here. I'm awake. Come on, everyone, out of bed!
Memory: Remember, Stomach, we have to be careful with ice cream in our old age. We're now lactose intolerant.
Stomach: Brain can take care of that. That's Colon's problem anyway.
Colon: Ugh. Nooo. Don't mess me up again.
Taste Buds: Sorry, Colon, we're all on the ice cream bandwagon. You'll have to just cope.
Common Sense: No ice cream, though, unless we get out of bed! Come on, let's go. Why is no one moving?
Back: Brain went back to sleep. No one is telling us what to do.
Common Sense: No worries. Some kid will be in soon to jump on the bed.
Stomach: Good. Because I want my ice cream.
Common Sense: It's 7:00 in the morning?
Stomach: Well, we're 40 now. There's no telling how much longer we've got. Eat ice cream any chance we can!
Colon: Excuses, Excuses.
Stomach: Hey, whatever it takes. Now, someone get me my ice cream.
Chapter 14: A Snake
Brain: Ah, back on the trail for a run. Love spring.
Common Sense: Eyes, stay on it. You know the problem we have out here on the trail.
Eyes: Don't worry, I'm on it. I've already been set on ALERT by Instinct.
Common Sense: Good, good. Wait... Legs? Why are you going backwards now?
Legs: I'm running on Instinct, also.
Common Sense: But Instinct only moves you backwards if there is danger...
Legs: Yep.
Eyes: Yep, danger.
Brain: I recognize that moving stick! Sticks don't move! It's a snake!
Common Sense: OK, OK. Settle down. Black snake, very small, no danger.
Brain: Snake!
Common Sense: Still, no danger. Come on, go past it. Brain? What are you doing?
Brain: Sorry, I'm outta here. Activating Shut Down. I don't do snakes. It's in my contract.
Common Sense: You don't have a contract.
Brain: If I did, it would say, No Snakes. Now, I'm shutting down. Contact Instinct for further instruction.
Common Sense: Brain? Brain! You weren't kidding, were you?
Brain:
Lungs: Yeah, I think I'm going to stop processing air to listen to this conversation here.
Common Sense: Come on, really?
Heart: That's okay. I'll make up for it by pumping the oxygen twice as fast through the veins. No one will ever know the blood is bad! Here we go. I'll race you, feet!
Feet: You win.
Common Sense: That doesn't sound like a good idea. OK, well I don't like this either, but here we go, Body. Move past the snake.
Feet: Are you kidding? We're on Shut Down. Instinct is running the show.
Common Sense: Hand, you've got a phone. Call Husband for help.
Hand: He wouldn't be any help. He would just laugh. Besides, I can't move. Something flowing through me has frozen me.
Common Sense: Wow! Where did all that cortisol come from?
Hypothalamus: Oops. I just dumped it all out when I heard "Snake." I think I wet myself.
Bladder: Why did you have to give me that idea?
Common Sense: Both of you, really?
Hypothalamus: I've got my orders. Come on, this is all I ever get to do!
Eyes: It's moving!
Feet: What are we going to do? Why are we not hearing from Instinct anymore?
Instinct: I work in mysterious ways.
Memory: That sounds familiar. Oh yeah, it was just on the iPod.
Common Sense: That's it! We have to focus on something else until we've forgotten about the snake.
Eyes: Ha ha ha... wait... you're serious?
Common Sense: Yep, close 'em up, Eyes.
Eyes: But then we won't see it and we won't know if it is climbing up our leg.
Legs: I will know. Trust me.
Eyes: Wait... it just went back into the grass.
Common Sense: OK, we're safe. We can go.
Irrational Side of the Brain: What if it comes back?
Common Sense: You really think it's going to fling itself out of the grass to attack something 100 times its own size?
Irrational Side of the Brain: Well, NOW I do!
Common Sense: Next we need to get rid of all this cortisol.
Lungs: Send it to stomach. Everything comes out of there eventually anyway.
Stomach: Excuse me, what?
Hypothalamus: Okie dokie... sending...
Stomach: Blah... <vomit>
Common Sense: OK, all back to normal now. No more snake, no more cortisol.
Brain: Ah, I'm back now. What a great day for a run. Hey, why are legs so stiff? Instinct, I don't think you should run things anymore.
Instinct: Fine with me!
Common Sense: Eyes, stay on it. You know the problem we have out here on the trail.
Eyes: Don't worry, I'm on it. I've already been set on ALERT by Instinct.
Common Sense: Good, good. Wait... Legs? Why are you going backwards now?
Legs: I'm running on Instinct, also.
Common Sense: But Instinct only moves you backwards if there is danger...
Legs: Yep.
Eyes: Yep, danger.
Brain: I recognize that moving stick! Sticks don't move! It's a snake!
Common Sense: OK, OK. Settle down. Black snake, very small, no danger.
Brain: Snake!
Common Sense: Still, no danger. Come on, go past it. Brain? What are you doing?
Brain: Sorry, I'm outta here. Activating Shut Down. I don't do snakes. It's in my contract.
Common Sense: You don't have a contract.
Brain: If I did, it would say, No Snakes. Now, I'm shutting down. Contact Instinct for further instruction.
Common Sense: Brain? Brain! You weren't kidding, were you?
Brain:
Lungs: Yeah, I think I'm going to stop processing air to listen to this conversation here.
Common Sense: Come on, really?
Heart: That's okay. I'll make up for it by pumping the oxygen twice as fast through the veins. No one will ever know the blood is bad! Here we go. I'll race you, feet!
Feet: You win.
Common Sense: That doesn't sound like a good idea. OK, well I don't like this either, but here we go, Body. Move past the snake.
Feet: Are you kidding? We're on Shut Down. Instinct is running the show.
Common Sense: Hand, you've got a phone. Call Husband for help.
Hand: He wouldn't be any help. He would just laugh. Besides, I can't move. Something flowing through me has frozen me.
Common Sense: Wow! Where did all that cortisol come from?
Hypothalamus: Oops. I just dumped it all out when I heard "Snake." I think I wet myself.
Bladder: Why did you have to give me that idea?
Common Sense: Both of you, really?
Hypothalamus: I've got my orders. Come on, this is all I ever get to do!
Eyes: It's moving!
Feet: What are we going to do? Why are we not hearing from Instinct anymore?
Instinct: I work in mysterious ways.
Memory: That sounds familiar. Oh yeah, it was just on the iPod.
Common Sense: That's it! We have to focus on something else until we've forgotten about the snake.
Eyes: Ha ha ha... wait... you're serious?
Common Sense: Yep, close 'em up, Eyes.
Eyes: But then we won't see it and we won't know if it is climbing up our leg.
Legs: I will know. Trust me.
Eyes: Wait... it just went back into the grass.
Common Sense: OK, we're safe. We can go.
Irrational Side of the Brain: What if it comes back?
Common Sense: You really think it's going to fling itself out of the grass to attack something 100 times its own size?
Irrational Side of the Brain: Well, NOW I do!
Common Sense: Next we need to get rid of all this cortisol.
Lungs: Send it to stomach. Everything comes out of there eventually anyway.
Stomach: Excuse me, what?
Hypothalamus: Okie dokie... sending...
Stomach: Blah... <vomit>
Common Sense: OK, all back to normal now. No more snake, no more cortisol.
Brain: Ah, I'm back now. What a great day for a run. Hey, why are legs so stiff? Instinct, I don't think you should run things anymore.
Instinct: Fine with me!
Chapter 15: Pituitary Coup Men: Warning! Mention of the female body part beginining with a "U" below:)
Brain: Oh no! It's the last day the kids are away at school.
Ears: Better get ready for constant noise.
Brain: Eyes? What are you doing? Crying?
Eyes: I don't know. This isn't a usual reaction for me on the last day of school.
Brain: Not a normal reaction? Oh no! I know what that means.
Pituitary: Well, the timing was right, so I just went hog wild here and dumped out all the hormones.
Eyes: No fair! I'm soaked. I can't even function.
Brain: Common Sense, where are you on this one?
Common Sense: Arg... Struggling... The Power of the Pituitary is just... too... strong...
Pituitary: That's right! One gland to rule them all!
Memory: That's Tolkein - one RING, one RING.
Pituitary: It transfers.
Memory: Then perhaps we need to go destroy you in the fires of Mt. Doom.
Pituitary: Ah... wait a second. No, no that won't be necessary.
Brain: Then relinquish your power over Common Sense.
Eyes: And me!
Brain: And Eyes.
Uterus: And me. Aww, look at that cute baby! I can do that. I can make one of those.
Common Sense: Aaaaa! Yes! Pull back, Pituitary, pull back! Devastating consequences lay in the balance.
Uterus: Awww, not devastating. Tiny. Look how adorable. Memory, don't you remember when ours were that little and cute?
Memory: Not helping... Must fight the hormones... sleepless nights... crying... screaming... potty training...
Uterus: Done. We're good. Take the baby away. We don't want one.
Brain: Ha HA! We win, Pituitary! Shrink away and level off your hormonal blast.
Pituitary: You may have won THIS time, Brain, but I will be back. Just wait until next month! Bwahahaha!
Brain: Noooooo!
Chapter 16: My Shorts Don't Fit, part 1
Butt: Ouch! What's going on here?
Brain: Hmm. These shorts are definitely too tight.
Stomach: You're telling me!
Vanity: Oh, this is not good.
Common Sense: Last year's shorts don't fit? We have two options: shopping or dropping weight.
Stomach: Ha! Well that's a no-brainer.
Brain: Hey! I still like to be involved.
Hand: Got the credit card right here.
Other Hand: I got the car keys!
Brain: Let me in on this. I'm choosing the diet.
Vanity: We don't "diet." We modify our eating choices for the goal of lowering weight.
Stomach: Nooooo!
Memory: We have never enjoyed doing that.
Brain: But we CAN. That's why we do things. We CAN.
Common Sense: Well, we also CAN pick up a snake, but we AREN'T going to do that.
Brain: It works and it's cheaper in the long run.
Legs: Oh yeah, long runs too. Blah.
Common Sense: Cheaper, huh? I like that.
Stomach: I've talked it over with everyone, and no one agrees that's the best way to go.
Brain: Come on! It works. We've done it before.
Stomach: We all hated it before. Even YOU got pains from the sugar withdrawal.
Brain: I don't recall that.
Memory: Get off! Will you stop blocking my input?
Brain: La, la, la, I can't hear you. I want to fit into last year's shorts without a muffin top.
Stomach: But we like muffin tops...
Brain: Not THOSE muffin tops.
Hand: But I have the credit card all ready to go.
Common Sense: Well, let's take it to the grocery store.
Stomach: Waaaaa!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Brain: Hmm. These shorts are definitely too tight.
Stomach: You're telling me!
Vanity: Oh, this is not good.
Common Sense: Last year's shorts don't fit? We have two options: shopping or dropping weight.
Stomach: Ha! Well that's a no-brainer.
Brain: Hey! I still like to be involved.
Hand: Got the credit card right here.
Other Hand: I got the car keys!
Brain: Let me in on this. I'm choosing the diet.
Vanity: We don't "diet." We modify our eating choices for the goal of lowering weight.
Stomach: Nooooo!
Memory: We have never enjoyed doing that.
Brain: But we CAN. That's why we do things. We CAN.
Common Sense: Well, we also CAN pick up a snake, but we AREN'T going to do that.
Brain: It works and it's cheaper in the long run.
Legs: Oh yeah, long runs too. Blah.
Common Sense: Cheaper, huh? I like that.
Stomach: I've talked it over with everyone, and no one agrees that's the best way to go.
Brain: Come on! It works. We've done it before.
Stomach: We all hated it before. Even YOU got pains from the sugar withdrawal.
Brain: I don't recall that.
Memory: Get off! Will you stop blocking my input?
Brain: La, la, la, I can't hear you. I want to fit into last year's shorts without a muffin top.
Stomach: But we like muffin tops...
Brain: Not THOSE muffin tops.
Hand: But I have the credit card all ready to go.
Common Sense: Well, let's take it to the grocery store.
Stomach: Waaaaa!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Chapter 17: My Shorts Don't Fit, part 2
Brain: Oooooohhhhhh, I'm dying here.
Common Sense: It's just sugar withdrawal. You'll get over it.
Brain: Sugar Withdrawal? How am I not over that yet? We've been doing this "eating modification plan" forEVER.
Common Sense: Well, just 3 days.
Brain: 3 days without my life blood. It's killing me.
Blood: Actually, we're feeling pretty great without it.
Brain: We're not all on the same page about feeling great. Right, bladder? 80 oz. of water every day hasn't exactly been a picnic for you, has it?
Stomach: Picnic? Did someone say picnic?
Bladder: (huff, puff) Well. I HAVE been busy. (huff, puff) But no real problems.
Stomach: What exactly are they serving at this picnic?
Temptation: Hello Everyone! So good to see you all again! I've been locked up so long, I almost forgot about all my lovely friends here.
Common Sense: Oh no! Go away, Temptation! We only have a couple of more days. We can do this if you go away.
Temptation: I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. I was busy showing Hand the way to Pinterest. That's right, Hand, just type in "Yum."
Eyes: Ooooo, that one says "easy." Can we make it? Can we make it? Pleeeeeease?
Temptation: My work here is done. I'll go away now.
Common Sense: That's a carrot cake, Eyes. We don't even really like carrot cake.
Stomach: Don't care. Cream Cheese icing... cake ... sugar...
Brain: Sugar? Hey, that exactly what I need to stop feeling so bad!
Stomach: Hey, Hand, type in "cheesecake."
Common Sense: For heaven's sake, I thought you were leaving, Temptation?
Stomach: Temptation did leave. But the rest of us know what to do already.
Common Sense: Have you all forgotten why we are here? What got us into this mess? Why our shorts don't fit anymore? THIS is the whole reason for it! Now get off Pinterest and go grab a bottle of water.
Bladder: Here we go again...
Stomach: Oh goodie. Water. How about we have a cookie with that water?
Common Sense: No cookie!
Brain: You're just so mean.
Common Sense: This was YOUR idea to begin with!
Brain: You didn't do a very good job talking me out of it.
Common Sense: When do I ever? You never listen to me.
Stomach: Where are we on the whole "making a cake" issue?
Common Sense: Hand, put down that sugar. No cake. Must wait.
Hand: Sorry, Stomach, I tried.
Stomach: Ugh. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my life.
Common Sense: It's just sugar withdrawal. You'll get over it.
Brain: Sugar Withdrawal? How am I not over that yet? We've been doing this "eating modification plan" forEVER.
Common Sense: Well, just 3 days.
Brain: 3 days without my life blood. It's killing me.
Blood: Actually, we're feeling pretty great without it.
Brain: We're not all on the same page about feeling great. Right, bladder? 80 oz. of water every day hasn't exactly been a picnic for you, has it?
Stomach: Picnic? Did someone say picnic?
Bladder: (huff, puff) Well. I HAVE been busy. (huff, puff) But no real problems.
Stomach: What exactly are they serving at this picnic?
Temptation: Hello Everyone! So good to see you all again! I've been locked up so long, I almost forgot about all my lovely friends here.
Common Sense: Oh no! Go away, Temptation! We only have a couple of more days. We can do this if you go away.
Temptation: I'm sorry. I didn't hear you. I was busy showing Hand the way to Pinterest. That's right, Hand, just type in "Yum."
Eyes: Ooooo, that one says "easy." Can we make it? Can we make it? Pleeeeeease?
Temptation: My work here is done. I'll go away now.
Common Sense: That's a carrot cake, Eyes. We don't even really like carrot cake.
Stomach: Don't care. Cream Cheese icing... cake ... sugar...
Brain: Sugar? Hey, that exactly what I need to stop feeling so bad!
Stomach: Hey, Hand, type in "cheesecake."
Common Sense: For heaven's sake, I thought you were leaving, Temptation?
Stomach: Temptation did leave. But the rest of us know what to do already.
Common Sense: Have you all forgotten why we are here? What got us into this mess? Why our shorts don't fit anymore? THIS is the whole reason for it! Now get off Pinterest and go grab a bottle of water.
Bladder: Here we go again...
Stomach: Oh goodie. Water. How about we have a cookie with that water?
Common Sense: No cookie!
Brain: You're just so mean.
Common Sense: This was YOUR idea to begin with!
Brain: You didn't do a very good job talking me out of it.
Common Sense: When do I ever? You never listen to me.
Stomach: Where are we on the whole "making a cake" issue?
Common Sense: Hand, put down that sugar. No cake. Must wait.
Hand: Sorry, Stomach, I tried.
Stomach: Ugh. Tomorrow is going to be the longest day of my life.
Chapter 18: An Accident
Bladder: Hey, Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Wake up, Brain.
Brain: It's 4 in the morning, Bladder. Go back to sleep.
Bladder: But I caaaaan't. I really gotta gooooooooo.
Brain: Can't you hold it?
Bladder: (whimper, whimper). No.
Brain: Oh, all right. We'll get up. Come on, guys.
<collective groan>
Eyes: You don't need me, do you?
Brain: Nah. We've lived in this house for 12 years and never moved the bedroom furniture. I think Auto Pilot's got this one.
Auto Pilot: I think Common Sense might have something to say about this. Especially about that suitcase on the floor.
Brain: Common Sense is still asleep. No need to wake everyone.
Auto Pilot: Well, we may have wanted to choose better, though. Maybe awoken Feet? Or perhaps Balance...
Head: Whoa. Why am I on the floor?
Brain: Hmm. Something's not right here. Hand, check out the situation. Mouth, we woke the husband and he is yelling, assure him everything is okay.
Common Sense: Wait, is it? I need to be involved here.
Auto Pilot: Oh, now you wake up. We needed you a minute ago, you know.
Hand: This doesn't make sense. Head is all wet.
Common Sense: Okay, stay down. That's probably blood. If we stand up, we'll probably just fall again.
Hand: And check this out. A giant hole!
Skull: Hey! That's what the outside looks like. I always wondered. Hi everybody!
Blood: We're freeeeeee!
Common Sense: No, no, no. Gotta keep all you guys inside.
Blood: Awwww.
Common Sense: Hang in there, Hand, it's going to be a long rest of morning. Here's the gauze. Keep it on there.
Hand: Oh goodie.
Auto Pilot: Okay, looks like you won't be needing me for a very long time. Good night!
Chapter 19: An Accident, Part 2
Nerves: On alert. At Urgent Care, and no idea what to expect.
Common Sense: Calm down. We'll probably get stitches, and that will help us heal.
Skull: Awww. I was enjoying my new view.
Hair: I feel so yucky. I hope they do something about that.
Memory: Wait. Cleaning out a cut feels bad... very, very bad.
Brain: Yeah, and I have a feeling stitches will feel worse.
Nerves: Aaaaaaaa! Not helping, not helping!
Common Sense: Settle down, it would feel worse to let it stay open and get infected.
Brain: Ears, what did the doctor just say? I don't think I heard correctly.
Ears: Staples. She said, "staples."
Head: WHAT????
Blood: Oh goodie! Sounds like another opportunity for escape!
Optimism: Maybe it won't hurt that bad. Right?
Memory: I've got nothing here.
Brain: Shhh. She's talking again. Ears?
Ears: Wow. You're not going to like this.
Head: I haven't liked anything yet.
Brain: What is it?
Ears: The good news is that the staples shouldn't hurt.
Sense of Humor: Ha, ha! Wait. That's not funny.
Ears: The bad news is that we have to get Lydicain first.
Head: Nooooooo! What's Lydicain?
Memory: No idea. Never had it. But let's be glad she didn't say "novacain." I had that 26 years ago when the toenail was ripped off. That was a shot, and it hurt.
Toe: Ooooo, yeah, I do remember that. Not good. Very painful.
Head: Well, you have more fat in you to absorb that shot. Let's hope that's not what I'm getting.
Toe: Hey! Who are you calling fat?
Head: Sorry. I'm just scared.
Sense of Humor: Soon to be scarred. Ha!
Head: Go away, Humor. You are not needed here.
Eyes: Bad news again, guys. That's definitely a needle in her hand.
Head: Oh good heavens.
Arm: You baby. I get these all the time. It's really nothing.
Head: Again, fat! You have fat!
Arm: It's muscle, you know.
Head: Whatever. I don't have that either.
Back: What are you all complaining about? That needle is tiny. Did you all see the one I got before we gave birth... THREE TIMES!
Memory: Aww, that was worth it.
Back: I sometimes wonder...
Optimism: See, that wasn't so bad.
Head: Owww! What? Are you kidding me? Why don't YOU get a shot sometime and... hey, OWWW!
Ears: Yeah, you weren't listening. She said something about more shots. She's going to keep giving them until you feel nothing.
Head: Keep giving them??? How many was that?
Brain: Sorry. Lost count after 5.
Head: That's it. I'm outta here.
Ears: Oh wait, no. She just said to hold still so she doesn't mess up.
Head: Wellll. That's okay nowwww, I guesssss. I'm, uh... I'm feeling... kinda...
Memory: Groovy?
Head: Yeahhhh.... something like that.
Common Sense: Good. Must be working now. Mouth tell her we're numb.
Head: Yeah, baby. Comfortably numb.
Memory: You know, we were pretty young in the 70's.
Head: Whatever.
Brain: Bring on the staples. Gotta close us all back in together like the big happy family we are.
Head: Staples? What are staples?
Common Sense: Something tells me you'll know in a few hours.
Common Sense: Calm down. We'll probably get stitches, and that will help us heal.
Skull: Awww. I was enjoying my new view.
Hair: I feel so yucky. I hope they do something about that.
Memory: Wait. Cleaning out a cut feels bad... very, very bad.
Brain: Yeah, and I have a feeling stitches will feel worse.
Nerves: Aaaaaaaa! Not helping, not helping!
Common Sense: Settle down, it would feel worse to let it stay open and get infected.
Brain: Ears, what did the doctor just say? I don't think I heard correctly.
Ears: Staples. She said, "staples."
Head: WHAT????
Blood: Oh goodie! Sounds like another opportunity for escape!
Optimism: Maybe it won't hurt that bad. Right?
Memory: I've got nothing here.
Brain: Shhh. She's talking again. Ears?
Ears: Wow. You're not going to like this.
Head: I haven't liked anything yet.
Brain: What is it?
Ears: The good news is that the staples shouldn't hurt.
Sense of Humor: Ha, ha! Wait. That's not funny.
Ears: The bad news is that we have to get Lydicain first.
Head: Nooooooo! What's Lydicain?
Memory: No idea. Never had it. But let's be glad she didn't say "novacain." I had that 26 years ago when the toenail was ripped off. That was a shot, and it hurt.
Toe: Ooooo, yeah, I do remember that. Not good. Very painful.
Head: Well, you have more fat in you to absorb that shot. Let's hope that's not what I'm getting.
Toe: Hey! Who are you calling fat?
Head: Sorry. I'm just scared.
Sense of Humor: Soon to be scarred. Ha!
Head: Go away, Humor. You are not needed here.
Eyes: Bad news again, guys. That's definitely a needle in her hand.
Head: Oh good heavens.
Arm: You baby. I get these all the time. It's really nothing.
Head: Again, fat! You have fat!
Arm: It's muscle, you know.
Head: Whatever. I don't have that either.
Back: What are you all complaining about? That needle is tiny. Did you all see the one I got before we gave birth... THREE TIMES!
Memory: Aww, that was worth it.
Back: I sometimes wonder...
Optimism: See, that wasn't so bad.
Head: Owww! What? Are you kidding me? Why don't YOU get a shot sometime and... hey, OWWW!
Ears: Yeah, you weren't listening. She said something about more shots. She's going to keep giving them until you feel nothing.
Head: Keep giving them??? How many was that?
Brain: Sorry. Lost count after 5.
Head: That's it. I'm outta here.
Ears: Oh wait, no. She just said to hold still so she doesn't mess up.
Head: Wellll. That's okay nowwww, I guesssss. I'm, uh... I'm feeling... kinda...
Memory: Groovy?
Head: Yeahhhh.... something like that.
Common Sense: Good. Must be working now. Mouth tell her we're numb.
Head: Yeah, baby. Comfortably numb.
Memory: You know, we were pretty young in the 70's.
Head: Whatever.
Brain: Bring on the staples. Gotta close us all back in together like the big happy family we are.
Head: Staples? What are staples?
Common Sense: Something tells me you'll know in a few hours.
Chapter 20: Vacation
Brain: Vacation! Vacation! Vacation!
Stomach: Yea!! My favorite week of the year!
Guilty Conscience: Me too!
Common Sense: Don't get carried away. We still have children.
Guilty Conscience: Oh yeah. That's right. I never get a break!
Stomach: What should we get first?
Skin: Hold on, hold on. Don't go hog wild here. I have a coming out party to get ready for.
Modesty: You mean a trip to the beach?
Skin: Yep. That's when I get out.
Modesty: Well, don't you worry. I'll make sure that not too much of you gets out.
Stomach: And we're talking spandex here. That stretches.
Skin: Didn't really want to have to stretch it out too much.
Vanity: Yeah, nobody wants to see that.
Brain: I can actually relax now, can't I?
Common Sense: Believe it or not, I think you can.
Legs: Ahh, this is good. I needed a break.
Brain: Sorry, Legs, you don't get a break. We brought the bike and the running shoes.
Legs: What? Why?
Stomach: Well, that would kind of be my fault.
Legs: Grr... I'm always paying for your appetite!
Stomach: You can divide that blame with Eyes, too, you know.
Eyes: Sorry. I like a lot of stuff.
Common Sense: We're going to have to work out some kind of compromise while we're on vacation here.
Legs: I think a blindfold will be necessary.
Eyes: Hey!
Common Sense: How about this? Legs, we'll give you a few days off.
Stomach: You better not give me any days off!
Brain: We'd never think of it.
Vanity: Alright, but please remember it's summer. We just got back into our shorts, at quite a cost.
Head: Ouch. Oh yeah. No more of that!
Stomach: Okay. I'll be good. I promise. Now get me to the ice cream parlor!
Brain: Maybe that blindfold idea wasn't such a bad idea.
Eyes: Only if you move it down.
Stomach: Doesn't matter. As long as the ice cream gets in.
Stomach: Yea!! My favorite week of the year!
Guilty Conscience: Me too!
Common Sense: Don't get carried away. We still have children.
Guilty Conscience: Oh yeah. That's right. I never get a break!
Stomach: What should we get first?
Skin: Hold on, hold on. Don't go hog wild here. I have a coming out party to get ready for.
Modesty: You mean a trip to the beach?
Skin: Yep. That's when I get out.
Modesty: Well, don't you worry. I'll make sure that not too much of you gets out.
Stomach: And we're talking spandex here. That stretches.
Skin: Didn't really want to have to stretch it out too much.
Vanity: Yeah, nobody wants to see that.
Brain: I can actually relax now, can't I?
Common Sense: Believe it or not, I think you can.
Legs: Ahh, this is good. I needed a break.
Brain: Sorry, Legs, you don't get a break. We brought the bike and the running shoes.
Legs: What? Why?
Stomach: Well, that would kind of be my fault.
Legs: Grr... I'm always paying for your appetite!
Stomach: You can divide that blame with Eyes, too, you know.
Eyes: Sorry. I like a lot of stuff.
Common Sense: We're going to have to work out some kind of compromise while we're on vacation here.
Legs: I think a blindfold will be necessary.
Eyes: Hey!
Common Sense: How about this? Legs, we'll give you a few days off.
Stomach: You better not give me any days off!
Brain: We'd never think of it.
Vanity: Alright, but please remember it's summer. We just got back into our shorts, at quite a cost.
Head: Ouch. Oh yeah. No more of that!
Stomach: Okay. I'll be good. I promise. Now get me to the ice cream parlor!
Brain: Maybe that blindfold idea wasn't such a bad idea.
Eyes: Only if you move it down.
Stomach: Doesn't matter. As long as the ice cream gets in.
Chapter 21: Getting Work Done In the Summer
Brain: Ah, writing time. Let's see, where was I? Chapter 5? OK... "The brisk air in the misty wind gnawed at the tips of his earlobes..."
Ears: Stop! I hear something.
Common Sense: It's just the kids, home for the summer, with their usual boredom issues.
Brain: Well, I should stop and see what the problem is.
Common Sense: That's their plan, you know. You don't have to follow it. You aren't needed. Get writing.
Brain: Yeah, yeah, writing, right. Okay. Where was I? Chapter 5. "The wind was cold... Biting..."
Ears: Sounds like a fight.
Common Sense: Nooo! Get back to the computer!
Brain: "It was cold. There were ears involved."
Ears: Footsteps are coming this way, fast, along with the "mommy whine."
Feet: Preparing to go hide. Not sure where to go. Anyone with ideas.
Hands: No time to go anywhere, just grabbing a blanket to hide under.
Common Sense: You really think that will work?
Memory: Well, remember that time when they were little and we had like an hour of peace and quiet?
Common Sense: Hmm. Tempting.
Maternal Instinct: No, no, we must work this out.
Common Sense: Now stop it. You know better. They will learn best by working it out themselves. And we have work to do.
Maternal Instinct: Unless they kill each other...
Common Sense: Don't listen, Brain, just keep writing.
Brain: "Cold... Ice cream..."
Stomach: Hey. I'm hungry. I think I want ice cream.
Subconscious: Ha HA! My vile plan has succeeded!
Brain: Hmm. "Chapter 5: The vile plan of the wind succeeded in bringing ice cream to the ears."
Common Sense: Give up. It isn't happening today.
Maternal Instinct: That might solve their problem too!
Stomach: Good. Snack time for all!
Ears: Stop! I hear something.
Common Sense: It's just the kids, home for the summer, with their usual boredom issues.
Brain: Well, I should stop and see what the problem is.
Common Sense: That's their plan, you know. You don't have to follow it. You aren't needed. Get writing.
Brain: Yeah, yeah, writing, right. Okay. Where was I? Chapter 5. "The wind was cold... Biting..."
Ears: Sounds like a fight.
Common Sense: Nooo! Get back to the computer!
Brain: "It was cold. There were ears involved."
Ears: Footsteps are coming this way, fast, along with the "mommy whine."
Feet: Preparing to go hide. Not sure where to go. Anyone with ideas.
Hands: No time to go anywhere, just grabbing a blanket to hide under.
Common Sense: You really think that will work?
Memory: Well, remember that time when they were little and we had like an hour of peace and quiet?
Common Sense: Hmm. Tempting.
Maternal Instinct: No, no, we must work this out.
Common Sense: Now stop it. You know better. They will learn best by working it out themselves. And we have work to do.
Maternal Instinct: Unless they kill each other...
Common Sense: Don't listen, Brain, just keep writing.
Brain: "Cold... Ice cream..."
Stomach: Hey. I'm hungry. I think I want ice cream.
Subconscious: Ha HA! My vile plan has succeeded!
Brain: Hmm. "Chapter 5: The vile plan of the wind succeeded in bringing ice cream to the ears."
Common Sense: Give up. It isn't happening today.
Maternal Instinct: That might solve their problem too!
Stomach: Good. Snack time for all!
Chapter 22: Staying Up to Listen to a Game
Brain: Yea! My two favorite teams are playing tonight!
Ears: Yes, nice to have something to do.
Eyes: I'm bored. Dumb radio.
Common Sense: Well, it's more like "dumb TV" for being blacked out, which is really the "dumb fans" for not buying all the tickets... I'm not going to keep going here.
Brain: Good, because I'm trying to pay attention to the game.
Eyes: Yup. Still bored. How about we close down.
Heart: Oh, we're shutting down? Okay, everyone. Slow down the functions.
Brain: No, no, no. Not shutting down. Trying to listen to the game.
Ears: Well, actually the static on the radio is making it hard to decipher what's being said. I'm okay with shutting down too.
Brain: No! We've listened for 14 innings now, we need to hear who wins.
Common Sense: We have to get up early tomorrow. We'll listen for it on the news tomorrow.
Brain: What fun is that? We're staying up.
Mouth: <Yawn>
Brain: What was that? Some kind of rebellion?
Mouth: Sorry, no, taking command from Hypothalamus.
Brain: What? Who put you in charge, Hypo-whoever-you-are?
Hypothalamus: I'm your lower part, I control everything that keeps us alive. God put me in charge, for which you should be thankful. You would have had us killed many times over by now. Time to sleep.
Brain: No. I refuse.
Hypothalamus: Not much you can do about it when we're in shut down mode.
Brain: You think so, huh?
Eyes: ... And we're shut.
Brain: YOU may go ahead and shut down, but I won't go down until I'm good and ready.
Memory: Yeah, this is true. I remember a few nights of tossing and turning. Not fun, Brain.
Brain: Ah yes, but the excellent plans that I made during that time.
Memory: What plans? I don't remember any of those excellent plans.
Brain: Exactly! We don't need sleep.
Neck: And may I just say that resting Head on the counter is less than ideal? I am seeing tomorrow's pain from that already.
Ears: It's okay. I'm hearing runs scoring in the game. Looks like it's over.
Brain: Yes! Victory! Now we can go to bed.
Common Sense: Something tells me that you aren't referring to the victor of the baseball game.
Brain: Ha HA! Brain rules over all.
Heart: You may think so, but just you wait...
Ears: Yes, nice to have something to do.
Eyes: I'm bored. Dumb radio.
Common Sense: Well, it's more like "dumb TV" for being blacked out, which is really the "dumb fans" for not buying all the tickets... I'm not going to keep going here.
Brain: Good, because I'm trying to pay attention to the game.
Eyes: Yup. Still bored. How about we close down.
Heart: Oh, we're shutting down? Okay, everyone. Slow down the functions.
Brain: No, no, no. Not shutting down. Trying to listen to the game.
Ears: Well, actually the static on the radio is making it hard to decipher what's being said. I'm okay with shutting down too.
Brain: No! We've listened for 14 innings now, we need to hear who wins.
Common Sense: We have to get up early tomorrow. We'll listen for it on the news tomorrow.
Brain: What fun is that? We're staying up.
Mouth: <Yawn>
Brain: What was that? Some kind of rebellion?
Mouth: Sorry, no, taking command from Hypothalamus.
Brain: What? Who put you in charge, Hypo-whoever-you-are?
Hypothalamus: I'm your lower part, I control everything that keeps us alive. God put me in charge, for which you should be thankful. You would have had us killed many times over by now. Time to sleep.
Brain: No. I refuse.
Hypothalamus: Not much you can do about it when we're in shut down mode.
Brain: You think so, huh?
Eyes: ... And we're shut.
Brain: YOU may go ahead and shut down, but I won't go down until I'm good and ready.
Memory: Yeah, this is true. I remember a few nights of tossing and turning. Not fun, Brain.
Brain: Ah yes, but the excellent plans that I made during that time.
Memory: What plans? I don't remember any of those excellent plans.
Brain: Exactly! We don't need sleep.
Neck: And may I just say that resting Head on the counter is less than ideal? I am seeing tomorrow's pain from that already.
Ears: It's okay. I'm hearing runs scoring in the game. Looks like it's over.
Brain: Yes! Victory! Now we can go to bed.
Common Sense: Something tells me that you aren't referring to the victor of the baseball game.
Brain: Ha HA! Brain rules over all.
Heart: You may think so, but just you wait...
Chapter 23: Interview with a Pancreas
Mouth: Hello, this is Tracy's Mouth, running with assistance from her Brain.
Brain: Thanks for the Shout Out, there, Mouth.
Mouth: We have a special guest here with us today. Please help me welcome... a Pancreas.
Hands: <clap, clap, clap>
Mouth: Hello, Pancreas. Welcome.
Pancreas: What? What? What's going on here? Who are you?
Mouth: Um, it's an interview. We're trying to learn about your function in the body.
Pancreas: Why? Who wants to know?
Mouth: My, you're jumpy.
Pancreas: I'm attacked by sugar every day. Every. Day.
Mouth: That sounds intense.
Pancreas: Tense? Who's tense? I'm not tense.
Mouth: You sure about that?
Pancreas: Well, don't you worry. I found a way to fight back. That's right. I blast all that sugar away with my secret weapon.
Mouth: Oooo, are you going to tell us the secret?
Pancreas: Sure. I shoot out insulin. Boom! Boom! Boom! Knock that sugar out. And there it goes, off to get locked away in the cells.
Cells: Yea! Sugar! Thank you, Pancreas. Nom, nom, nom.
Pancreas: Hey, yo, Cells, no problem. All yours. I don't need no sugar.
Mouth: So generous.
Pancreas: I know, right?
Mouth: Hey, I see you brought a friend with you. Who's this?
Pancreas: Oh, this is my buddy. He's a pancreas in a body that doesn't need him anymore.
Other Body: Wait, who said we didn't need him? We want our pancreas back!
Mouth: Uhhh, is there something wrong with your friend? He isn't saying anything.
Pancreas: Oh, yeah, he's dead.
Mouth: WHAT?? You hang out with a dead pancreas?
Pancreas: Sure, why not? His body's got Type 1 Diabetes. They don't need him anymore.
Other Body: Yes we do! We want our pancreas back!
Pancreas: Sorry, Body. He's not going to be any use to you. He's got no ammo. You gotta find your insulin somewhere else.
Other Cells: Wah! We want our sugar. Find us some insulin!
Mouth: OK, so you're still hanging out with a dead organ, though, huh?
Pancreas: He's good company, you know. Never argues. Always supports me.
Mouth: Um, how exactly does he support you? He's dead.
Pancreas: Like this. When I sit on him, he's holding me up. See? Support.
Mouth: That's kind of gross, you know.
Pancreas: Yeah. I know.
Mouth: OK, well then. It was nice getting to know you, Pancreas, and your dead friend, Diabetic Pancreas. I'll let you get back to your job.
Pancreas: My pleasure. And, yeah, I gotta get back to work. I see a sugar attack ahead. Incoming!!!
Mouth: Well, there you have it, everyone. One of many important jobs here in our very own body. Tune in next week to see how the Battle of the Sugar Invasion is going.
Chapter 24: I Don't Have a Cold
Throat: Ahem. Need to make myself known here.
Brain: Yeah, so?
Throat: Well, you know I only let you notice me when something is wrong.
Brain: I don't see anything wrong.
Throat: Really? I just told you…
Common Sense: Pay no attention to Brain. Denial is a common thing here when we get sick.
Brain: Sick? We're not sick. Nothing wrong here.
Common Sense: See what I mean?
Throat: Well, I thought I would warn you so that we can take appropriate measures. It's not looking good in here.
Germs: Yes it is! Yes it is! Nice warm place to settle in and multiply.
Common Sense: OK, we're going to need to put everyone on standby here. Some daily procedures may need to change. Focus energy elsewhere.
Nose: Already on it. Anyone have some extra buckets? Dripping on the cat here.
Lap: Oh great. Now she left. Getting cold…
Common Sense: We'll all be getting cold soon. All hands on deck to find some blankets.
Hands: On it!
Brain: Is all this really necessary?
Eyes: So tired. And all this water.
Brain: So get a tissue and suck it up. It's almost time to go to the gym.
Common Sense: No gym today. We're too busy fighting all these germs.
All the Body Parts: Yea!
Brain: Hey. I'm in charge. I make the decisions. No better way to fight than to work up a good sweat. Raise the body temperature and burn the germs.
Germs: Nooooo!
Common Sense: Well, you might think that makes sense, but we're beyond that now. There are too many germs, and we need our energy to fight them, not to play racquetball.
White Blood Cells: Yes! En garde, vile infection!
Brain: See? The white blood cells have this under control. We don't need them to work out. We need Legs, Lungs, Arms…
Lungs: You're kidding, right? I'm a little cramped in here right now.
Brain: Huh? Cramped by what?
Lungs: Seems this infection has brought an entire host of slimy goo. It always seems to come here first.
Throat: See, if you would have just paid attention to me when I first called for attention, this…
Brain: So let's get rid of the slimy goo. Hmm. Which orifice should we use?
Throat: You're still ignoring me. This is not going to go well.
Brain: Orifices? Hello? No volunteers?
Common Sense: You expect someone to jump at that?
Brain: OK, so then we will select randomly. Reflexes? Get on that.
Hypothalamus: Okie dokie. Preparing for expulsion.
*Aaaaahhh CHOOOOOO!*
Nose: Oh, blah! Why do I always get the worst of all this stuff. Bleech.
Brain: Well, you're always open.
Mouth: Note to self. Stay shut to keep distance from slimy goo.
Brain: OK, goo expelled. We're healthy now. Let's go to the gym.
Body: Noooo! Too tired.
Common Sense: You just don't get it, do you?
White Blood Cells: Touché, vile goo !
Brain: Yeah, so?
Throat: Well, you know I only let you notice me when something is wrong.
Brain: I don't see anything wrong.
Throat: Really? I just told you…
Common Sense: Pay no attention to Brain. Denial is a common thing here when we get sick.
Brain: Sick? We're not sick. Nothing wrong here.
Common Sense: See what I mean?
Throat: Well, I thought I would warn you so that we can take appropriate measures. It's not looking good in here.
Germs: Yes it is! Yes it is! Nice warm place to settle in and multiply.
Common Sense: OK, we're going to need to put everyone on standby here. Some daily procedures may need to change. Focus energy elsewhere.
Nose: Already on it. Anyone have some extra buckets? Dripping on the cat here.
Lap: Oh great. Now she left. Getting cold…
Common Sense: We'll all be getting cold soon. All hands on deck to find some blankets.
Hands: On it!
Brain: Is all this really necessary?
Eyes: So tired. And all this water.
Brain: So get a tissue and suck it up. It's almost time to go to the gym.
Common Sense: No gym today. We're too busy fighting all these germs.
All the Body Parts: Yea!
Brain: Hey. I'm in charge. I make the decisions. No better way to fight than to work up a good sweat. Raise the body temperature and burn the germs.
Germs: Nooooo!
Common Sense: Well, you might think that makes sense, but we're beyond that now. There are too many germs, and we need our energy to fight them, not to play racquetball.
White Blood Cells: Yes! En garde, vile infection!
Brain: See? The white blood cells have this under control. We don't need them to work out. We need Legs, Lungs, Arms…
Lungs: You're kidding, right? I'm a little cramped in here right now.
Brain: Huh? Cramped by what?
Lungs: Seems this infection has brought an entire host of slimy goo. It always seems to come here first.
Throat: See, if you would have just paid attention to me when I first called for attention, this…
Brain: So let's get rid of the slimy goo. Hmm. Which orifice should we use?
Throat: You're still ignoring me. This is not going to go well.
Brain: Orifices? Hello? No volunteers?
Common Sense: You expect someone to jump at that?
Brain: OK, so then we will select randomly. Reflexes? Get on that.
Hypothalamus: Okie dokie. Preparing for expulsion.
*Aaaaahhh CHOOOOOO!*
Nose: Oh, blah! Why do I always get the worst of all this stuff. Bleech.
Brain: Well, you're always open.
Mouth: Note to self. Stay shut to keep distance from slimy goo.
Brain: OK, goo expelled. We're healthy now. Let's go to the gym.
Body: Noooo! Too tired.
Common Sense: You just don't get it, do you?
White Blood Cells: Touché, vile goo !
Chapter 25: Collision At the Plate
Brain: Oh goodie! Softball has started!
Body: Oh goodie.
Brain: Hey, now, some more excitement, please? We get to play catcher tonight.
Eyes: Yes, positioning ourself right in that great big puddle over there, right?
Brain: Well, now, that will just make it nice and cushy in case we fall.
Butt: No, no. There better not be any falling.
Brain: Come on. We're better than that.
Common Sense: Hmm. I've just been put on alert. I can only imagine why…
Eyes: Well, it looks like the grounds crew is trying to get the puddles under control so we can play.
Common Sense: Grounds crew? Those are just some of our more eager teammates. Maybe we shouldn't play on this field.
Brain: Ha! We have the people, so we'll have the game.
Eyes: Take note. Some of that dry dirt used to fill the puddles came from over by the backstop. Looks like a bit of a hole in that area.
Common Sense: Everyone got that? Watch the hole.
Brain: Play ball!
Common Sense: Brain? You heard that, right?
Brain: Hole. Right. Got it.
Stomach: Why do I not have a good feeling here?
Knees: Alright, lets go get this over with.
** Three batters into the game…**
Mouth: "Runner coming home! Bring it in!"
Brain: Ball coming… too high… must adjust to get the out…
Hands: We're up as high as can be, still can't get it!
Feet: Backing up…
Subconscious: Hey, there's something we needed to remember about backing up around here. Wanna know what it was?
Brain: No! Shut up, we don't have time for you. Gotta get that… whoa!
Feet: Hey, shouldn't we still be on the ground?
Hands: And we really should not be…
Bones in the Wrist: Wow, and we're really not in the right place.
Blood: Hey! Looks like we're needed again. Everyone, head to the left wrist.
Pain Sensors: What? What? Should we be on?
Adrenaline: Nah, I've got you covered for now.
Pain Sensors: Okay, good. We'll take it easy for now.
Common Sense: Don't go too far.
Brain: So, what happened here?
Feet: Well, seems there was this hole…
Brain: A hole, oh yeah. I remember something about that now.
Common Sense: See? One of these days you're going to need to listen to me. But really, that was more than just a fall.
Body: Yeah, we had some help getting to the ground from that runner.
Brain: Aha! Not all my fault!
Common Sense: Okay. Fine. I'll give you that. You're only half stupid.
Brain: Yes! At least I won something.
Ears: Hey, the ump called the runner out.
Brain: It was worth it. Victory!
Body: Oh goodie.
Brain: Hey, now, some more excitement, please? We get to play catcher tonight.
Eyes: Yes, positioning ourself right in that great big puddle over there, right?
Brain: Well, now, that will just make it nice and cushy in case we fall.
Butt: No, no. There better not be any falling.
Brain: Come on. We're better than that.
Common Sense: Hmm. I've just been put on alert. I can only imagine why…
Eyes: Well, it looks like the grounds crew is trying to get the puddles under control so we can play.
Common Sense: Grounds crew? Those are just some of our more eager teammates. Maybe we shouldn't play on this field.
Brain: Ha! We have the people, so we'll have the game.
Eyes: Take note. Some of that dry dirt used to fill the puddles came from over by the backstop. Looks like a bit of a hole in that area.
Common Sense: Everyone got that? Watch the hole.
Brain: Play ball!
Common Sense: Brain? You heard that, right?
Brain: Hole. Right. Got it.
Stomach: Why do I not have a good feeling here?
Knees: Alright, lets go get this over with.
** Three batters into the game…**
Mouth: "Runner coming home! Bring it in!"
Brain: Ball coming… too high… must adjust to get the out…
Hands: We're up as high as can be, still can't get it!
Feet: Backing up…
Subconscious: Hey, there's something we needed to remember about backing up around here. Wanna know what it was?
Brain: No! Shut up, we don't have time for you. Gotta get that… whoa!
Feet: Hey, shouldn't we still be on the ground?
Hands: And we really should not be…
Bones in the Wrist: Wow, and we're really not in the right place.
Blood: Hey! Looks like we're needed again. Everyone, head to the left wrist.
Pain Sensors: What? What? Should we be on?
Adrenaline: Nah, I've got you covered for now.
Pain Sensors: Okay, good. We'll take it easy for now.
Common Sense: Don't go too far.
Brain: So, what happened here?
Feet: Well, seems there was this hole…
Brain: A hole, oh yeah. I remember something about that now.
Common Sense: See? One of these days you're going to need to listen to me. But really, that was more than just a fall.
Body: Yeah, we had some help getting to the ground from that runner.
Brain: Aha! Not all my fault!
Common Sense: Okay. Fine. I'll give you that. You're only half stupid.
Brain: Yes! At least I won something.
Ears: Hey, the ump called the runner out.
Brain: It was worth it. Victory!
Chapter 26: The Aftermath, part 1
Mouth: "What do you mean 'Am I okay?' Of course I'm okay!"
Common Sense: I don't think we're okay.
Wrist: We are definitely not okay.
Brain: Get it together. We're up to bat now!
Wrist: I'm not moving.
Bones in Wrist: Yeah, we don't even know where to go. Never been in new places before.
Wrist: This definitely isn't going to work.
Bones in Wrist: Hold on, hold on, maybe we can find our original places, if it weren't so crowded here...
Blood: Yeah! Cuz this is where the party is!
Brain: Party? How is this a party?
Common Sense: The blood is bringing all the oxygen and antibodies to the break to help the injury. Skin, do your best to make sure none of the blood gets out. We need it!
Skin: I'm on it! But really I'm more worried about the bones getting out.
Common Sense: Seriously?
Rogue Bone: Hey man, I just want to see what it's like out there.
Common Sense: No! You stay!
Brain: Well, let's just get everyone back into place. Maybe we can bat next inning.
Wrist Bones: We don't think that's going to happen. We're really, really lost. And it's pretty dark in here.
Common Sense: Okay, I think we need to leave the game and go get this wrist looked at.
Wrist: Oh, thank you.
Brain: Leave the game? What? Are you kidding me?
Feet: I hear you, Common Sense, and we're leaving.
Brain: Nooo!
After returning from Urgent Care…
Brain: Everyone happy now?
Wrist: Well, I don't know if happy is the word. Numb is more like it. Better than it was! Still lost here, but not really too upset about it.
Memory: Comfortably numb… sounds familiar. Just like last year.
Head: Didn't really want to think about that again.
Brain: Well, thank you, pain medicine for our help. Think it's definitely time to sleep now.
Blood: Is that why you're kicking us out? We were having so much fun at the party in the wrist!
Common Sense: You re just being squished away from the area by a tight bandage because you are needed all over the body, not just in the wrist.
Wrist: Yeah, we're good now.
Common Sense: No, you're not, as you will see when the medicine wears off. Once we get the surgery, THEN you'll be better.
Brain: Surgery? As in cutting us open?
Common Sense: And in this case inserting a plate to help realign the bones.
Bones in Wrist: Home! At last! Yea!
Brain: Cutting open?
Common Sense: We'll be totally asleep, don't worry.
Brain: We better be!
To Be Continued...
Common Sense: I don't think we're okay.
Wrist: We are definitely not okay.
Brain: Get it together. We're up to bat now!
Wrist: I'm not moving.
Bones in Wrist: Yeah, we don't even know where to go. Never been in new places before.
Wrist: This definitely isn't going to work.
Bones in Wrist: Hold on, hold on, maybe we can find our original places, if it weren't so crowded here...
Blood: Yeah! Cuz this is where the party is!
Brain: Party? How is this a party?
Common Sense: The blood is bringing all the oxygen and antibodies to the break to help the injury. Skin, do your best to make sure none of the blood gets out. We need it!
Skin: I'm on it! But really I'm more worried about the bones getting out.
Common Sense: Seriously?
Rogue Bone: Hey man, I just want to see what it's like out there.
Common Sense: No! You stay!
Brain: Well, let's just get everyone back into place. Maybe we can bat next inning.
Wrist Bones: We don't think that's going to happen. We're really, really lost. And it's pretty dark in here.
Common Sense: Okay, I think we need to leave the game and go get this wrist looked at.
Wrist: Oh, thank you.
Brain: Leave the game? What? Are you kidding me?
Feet: I hear you, Common Sense, and we're leaving.
Brain: Nooo!
After returning from Urgent Care…
Brain: Everyone happy now?
Wrist: Well, I don't know if happy is the word. Numb is more like it. Better than it was! Still lost here, but not really too upset about it.
Memory: Comfortably numb… sounds familiar. Just like last year.
Head: Didn't really want to think about that again.
Brain: Well, thank you, pain medicine for our help. Think it's definitely time to sleep now.
Blood: Is that why you're kicking us out? We were having so much fun at the party in the wrist!
Common Sense: You re just being squished away from the area by a tight bandage because you are needed all over the body, not just in the wrist.
Wrist: Yeah, we're good now.
Common Sense: No, you're not, as you will see when the medicine wears off. Once we get the surgery, THEN you'll be better.
Brain: Surgery? As in cutting us open?
Common Sense: And in this case inserting a plate to help realign the bones.
Bones in Wrist: Home! At last! Yea!
Brain: Cutting open?
Common Sense: We'll be totally asleep, don't worry.
Brain: We better be!
To Be Continued...
Chapter 27: Moving On
Legs: Let's get on a bike. Come on. I'm really getting BORED!
Wrist: Well, I'm still a little groggy from that surgery.
Legs: That was, like 2 weeks ago! Come on. Get with it. You're all back in place now.
Wrist: It was 3 weeks ago. And we have some new stuff to get used to here.
Plate in Wrist: Allo.
Brain: Is that a foreign language, Plate? It sounds like you have an accent.
Plate: Oui. I am a foreign object.
Wrist: See? I have to get used to this.
Plate: Qu'elle dommage!
Wrist: Boy, I really got screwed.
Brain: Wrist! Watch your language! We don't talk like that!
Screws: No, really. We're new here too.
Wrist: Yeah, and they got screwed in really tight!
Brain: Oh, I see.
Eye: No, I see. But I can't see inside, so I guess we're all blind here.
Common Sense: No more puns! I can't take it!
Legs: Back to the issue at hand...
Wrist: Not funny.
Common Sense: What did I JUST say about puns?
Hand: I thought it was funny.
Legs: Anyway. Bike? Where do we stand on the bike? We don't need the wrist for the bike.
Wrist: I'm involved in a lot more than you think.
Brain: Legs are right. It's so nice out. We gotta get outside and work on that bike.
Wrist: You know I AM still technically broken, right?
Brain: We'll wrap you up real tight. Like Legs said, they'll do all the work.
Common Sense: You really don't get the idea of unity, do you?
*after bike ride*
Brain: Ugh. I guess Wrist IS involved in a lot more than I thought.
Wrist: I would say I told you so, but all I want to say now is Oww.
Brain: Really, Wrist. That was only 10 miles. I'm a little disappointed.
Wrist: Well, I'm a little broken. No, wait. I'm a lot broken. So deal with it.
Brain: Still, reaching the brakes would have been nice.
Wrist: I was busy fighting back against all the weight being thrust my direction!
Brain: It was no more than normal.
Wrist: But I'M not normal yet. That's what I'm trying to tell you!
Brain: Well, get ready because we are going to work on this.
Wrist: This is going to either be really good, or very, very bad.
Brain: That's the spirit! Back to physical therapy!
Wrist: Well, I'm still a little groggy from that surgery.
Legs: That was, like 2 weeks ago! Come on. Get with it. You're all back in place now.
Wrist: It was 3 weeks ago. And we have some new stuff to get used to here.
Plate in Wrist: Allo.
Brain: Is that a foreign language, Plate? It sounds like you have an accent.
Plate: Oui. I am a foreign object.
Wrist: See? I have to get used to this.
Plate: Qu'elle dommage!
Wrist: Boy, I really got screwed.
Brain: Wrist! Watch your language! We don't talk like that!
Screws: No, really. We're new here too.
Wrist: Yeah, and they got screwed in really tight!
Brain: Oh, I see.
Eye: No, I see. But I can't see inside, so I guess we're all blind here.
Common Sense: No more puns! I can't take it!
Legs: Back to the issue at hand...
Wrist: Not funny.
Common Sense: What did I JUST say about puns?
Hand: I thought it was funny.
Legs: Anyway. Bike? Where do we stand on the bike? We don't need the wrist for the bike.
Wrist: I'm involved in a lot more than you think.
Brain: Legs are right. It's so nice out. We gotta get outside and work on that bike.
Wrist: You know I AM still technically broken, right?
Brain: We'll wrap you up real tight. Like Legs said, they'll do all the work.
Common Sense: You really don't get the idea of unity, do you?
*after bike ride*
Brain: Ugh. I guess Wrist IS involved in a lot more than I thought.
Wrist: I would say I told you so, but all I want to say now is Oww.
Brain: Really, Wrist. That was only 10 miles. I'm a little disappointed.
Wrist: Well, I'm a little broken. No, wait. I'm a lot broken. So deal with it.
Brain: Still, reaching the brakes would have been nice.
Wrist: I was busy fighting back against all the weight being thrust my direction!
Brain: It was no more than normal.
Wrist: But I'M not normal yet. That's what I'm trying to tell you!
Brain: Well, get ready because we are going to work on this.
Wrist: This is going to either be really good, or very, very bad.
Brain: That's the spirit! Back to physical therapy!
Chapter 28: At the Beach
Brain: Ahhhh, the beach. We just love it here at the beach.
Toes: Yes! SO nice to be out. Greetings, sand, good to see you again.
Heart: I must say, this really is the place where we can all be happy.
Brain: Great. Now let's get to work. Hands, find something to do.
Hands: You know? I think I kinda like it here, just resting on the tummy, doing nothing.
Brain: No, no, no. That won't do. Let's get out the computer. There's always something we need to do there. Come on. Let's write a book!
Common Sense: We're on the beach. Do you know what sand would do to the computer?
Brain: What? It's all silicon, right? I don't see the problem.
Common Sense: Oh, if I only had a palm. And a face.
Brain: The REAL problem is that no one is working here!
Hypothalamus: Again, I get NO credit for keeping us alive with breathing.
Lungs: Yeah, I mean I'm not working HARD, but I'm liking the salty air I'm getting here.
Brain: Heyyyy, that gives me an idea! Here we are, with nothing to do...
Common Sense: You know, sometimes doing nothing IS doing something.
Brain: Who are you trying to be, a fortune cookie? Well, what I was GOING to say is let's get moving! Here's our opportunity to go for a long run on the beach.
Legs: Danger! Danger! Brain is trying to take away our rest!
All: Noooooo!
Brain: Bwahahaha! Yes! This is what everyone raves about. Lungs, you even said you love this air.
Lungs: Well, yes, but I prefer to get it in small doses at a time, not huge gulps.
Eyes: Nope, I have 3 reasons we can't leave this spot. Two are playing in the ocean right now and one is here in the sand.
Brain: Drat! I forgot about the kids. How do they get away with doing nothing?
Eyes: Trust me, they are far from doing nothing! Look, that one is building a sand castle. Remember doing that?
Long Term Memory: Oh yes! I remember... wait, something's getting in the way.
Data Recall: Yep, sorry, you don't need all that old stuff. We need to make room for important stuff like baseball players' batting averages, and TV channel numbers.
Common Sense: Hmm. Looks like I need to sit down and actually sort some of this stuff out.
Brain: So, no computer, no book writing, no running. What the heck are we supposed to do?
All: Nothing!
Brain: Well, at least that's something, I guess.
Hands: Good. Because we're not moving.
Toes: Yes! SO nice to be out. Greetings, sand, good to see you again.
Heart: I must say, this really is the place where we can all be happy.
Brain: Great. Now let's get to work. Hands, find something to do.
Hands: You know? I think I kinda like it here, just resting on the tummy, doing nothing.
Brain: No, no, no. That won't do. Let's get out the computer. There's always something we need to do there. Come on. Let's write a book!
Common Sense: We're on the beach. Do you know what sand would do to the computer?
Brain: What? It's all silicon, right? I don't see the problem.
Common Sense: Oh, if I only had a palm. And a face.
Brain: The REAL problem is that no one is working here!
Hypothalamus: Again, I get NO credit for keeping us alive with breathing.
Lungs: Yeah, I mean I'm not working HARD, but I'm liking the salty air I'm getting here.
Brain: Heyyyy, that gives me an idea! Here we are, with nothing to do...
Common Sense: You know, sometimes doing nothing IS doing something.
Brain: Who are you trying to be, a fortune cookie? Well, what I was GOING to say is let's get moving! Here's our opportunity to go for a long run on the beach.
Legs: Danger! Danger! Brain is trying to take away our rest!
All: Noooooo!
Brain: Bwahahaha! Yes! This is what everyone raves about. Lungs, you even said you love this air.
Lungs: Well, yes, but I prefer to get it in small doses at a time, not huge gulps.
Eyes: Nope, I have 3 reasons we can't leave this spot. Two are playing in the ocean right now and one is here in the sand.
Brain: Drat! I forgot about the kids. How do they get away with doing nothing?
Eyes: Trust me, they are far from doing nothing! Look, that one is building a sand castle. Remember doing that?
Long Term Memory: Oh yes! I remember... wait, something's getting in the way.
Data Recall: Yep, sorry, you don't need all that old stuff. We need to make room for important stuff like baseball players' batting averages, and TV channel numbers.
Common Sense: Hmm. Looks like I need to sit down and actually sort some of this stuff out.
Brain: So, no computer, no book writing, no running. What the heck are we supposed to do?
All: Nothing!
Brain: Well, at least that's something, I guess.
Hands: Good. Because we're not moving.