If you know me… I've probably apologized to you at some point in time. Perhaps profusely. I do this kind of thing a lot. Saying, "I'm sorry" is nearly a reflex. I have no idea why.
And it's not that intend to lie or mislead anyone, but sometimes my apologies are not all that earnest. For example:
1. "I'm sorry I was at the gym."
I think some people see exercise as a luxury or as play time. Well, it is enjoyable a lot of the time, but I really do go because I have to go. For my sanity. Without a daily workout, I am definitely more on edge. I need my workout to stabilize my mood. It's been working for me for almost 30 years. It's like coffee. Without it, I might bite your head off, so no, I'm not really that sorry.
2. "I'm sorry for how I feed my children."
We sometimes get funny looks at restaurants. And many friends and family have weighed in with thoughts on how to fix this situation. Believe me, we spent years working on it. Finally, we just gave in. They're being fed. I strive to get all the food groups in. For years, we tried to force the kids to eat what we ate. Now, we realize we can only do what works. I ate poorly growing up, I think. But then my tastes expanded as I got older. My kids are eating a wider variety than they did a few years back, so there's hope. And with the diabetes in the family, we must bow to the wishes of the insulin. It's our life. It's what we have to do.
3. "I'm sorry I look like this."
Yeah. I like ice cream, what can I say? So, I don't really care if people think I am too fat, or too thin. I know my body is physically fit, for the most part, and that's basically what it's there for. Not to be judged. I am not in any beauty pageants. With that said, I also go out sometimes before or after the gym. In those clothes, with no make up. I look how I look. But I really DO apologize for any unpleasant smell, if you see me after a workout.
4. "I'm sorry my daughter won't say hello to you."
I know she has some kind of crazy social anxiety. I don't understand it, but I know it's real. She does not want to talk, be looked at, be spoken to, be called "cute" or "pretty," or worst of all, laughed at. I don't have an answer for her. Oh, and she hates when I try to explain this to people too. This is exhausting. I don't know how to "solve her." I don't even know if I have to or not. So, I know this puts you in an awkward position, but please just don't take it personally.
5. "I'm sorry for saying that funny thing I said."
Because, you know, sometimes I just crack myself up. It's worth it.
6. "I'm sorry I forgot to get you something when I went out shopping."
If it wasn't on my list, I won't remember. Seriously. I just can't remember anything these days. I forget to give my child the milk I gave her insulin for at EVERY SINGLE MEAL. And this is a serious medical tragedy. So, yeah. I forgot your oranges when I was out.
7. "I'm sorry for complaining."
I know it's something I should do less. But there's this crazy phenomenon where I feel better after I verbalize what's bothering me. So much so, that I forget all about it after that. Then I am free to move on and focus on happier things. I know people don't want to hear it, though, so I apologize.
8. "I'm sorry I couldn't make to…"
If I could spend all my non-gym time in my chair writing my book, I would. So, when there's nothing on my schedule, that's where I imagine myself to be. Therefore, the only places I really want to go (other than the ones I really have to go to, like grocery shopping and work), I have to weigh against sitting at home writing. Or sitting at home with my family. I'm okay with giving up a few extra outings. Yes, I know this means I have become an introvert. I'm a writer. I've made peace with that.
9. "I'm sorry my book is not out yet."
I really AM sorry that it isn't, but I can't take the blame here. Traditionally-published authors can only do so much. It should be soon though; I could almost promise that. I just have no control over the release date. I'm glad you are interested, but I am just as eager for it to come out as you are.
10. "I'm sorry my house is a mess."
It was clean. You missed it. Then my kids came home from school, got bored, and… well, it's just not easy to convince a family that cleanliness is next to godliness. I like it clean, but I'm in the minority here.
I am also not sorry any time I say, "I'm sorry, BUT…" The "but" negates the apology. It's just something I say. Just think of it as another way of saying, "This is how I really feel." Bad habit, I know.
The bottom line is that my life is different from yours. My family has different needs. We make choices based on what we think is best. Sometimes we are right, sometimes we are wrong, but we will not know unless we work it out on our own. We don't need others to tell us to be like anyone else (other than what God has designed for us. We encourage others to let us know if we are leading our family in another direction than that, though.)
We're trying our best to get along in this world until we go to another one. Hopefully, you will see us recognize that you are too. I want to encourage you to do that, and don't let others stop you because of what they think.
Because I love even numbers and lists!