10 Events in the Stay-At-Home Mama Olympics

As I watched the Olympics in Rio this year, I was amused at what I was looking for.  I was noticing how the age difference between all of the athletes and myself widens each season. It started when I was 14 and realized that I would never be able to be an Olympic gymnast. After all, I had never had a single lesson or attended any kind of gymnastics event in my life. Age 14 would be a little late to start.

Now, as I watch these athletes, I not only hear comments like, "At age 30, he's probably finishing his Olympic career now," I'm saying the same thing. And I'm not crying about it, either.

And yet, I still like to win. Athletics are quickly becoming a less likely conduit for that to happen. So, I need to get creative. Time to get rewards for what I am already doing, don't you agree?

I work hard at parenting, despite my need for everything to be just as I want it. (If you are a parent, you probably know how those two ideas don't naturally mesh.) So I wonder which of the following I might medal in.


1. Preliminary List-Making
This is not as much an event, but the first step in the planning. Which really DOES happen with the Olympics. You can't start anything without a plan? Right, Rio?

My Medal: Gold.  I love lists. You'd be amazed what I have lists for.


2. Synchronized Floor Scrubbing
Because the floor can't be cleaned just once, and it's better to have more than one person doing the job, than repeating it more than one time, we will need this event for the cleanest floor possible.

My Medal: DQ. I am disqualified because I have both a robot vacuum and a robot mop doing my work every day.


​3. Sock Matching
OK, my kids do not see the importance of matching socks (well, the mini-me does). But I would go nuts even with the thought of mismatching! They may walk out the door like that, but they better not let me see it. Unless they want me to have a breakdown. Which sometimes I think they do.

My Medal: Silver. I will match every sock that comes out of the dryer, but I am at a loss for the mates that do not make it out.


4. Rhythmic Floor Exercise - Vacuum Event
Sometimes, I have to use the stand-up vac. And what fun it is to make those line patterns in the carpet! I mean, you gotta find fun where you can, right? No flipping, though.

My Medal: Gold. I can be very creative, even without flipping.


5. Rings
So, these aren't the still rings where male gymnasts hold themselves in iron crosses. (How DO they do that?) These rings are not still at all. These are the diving rings I am supposed to throw for my kids to retrieve in the pool.

My Medal: DNM. According to my youngest, I stink at this game.


6. Dog-Walking Marathon
My dog really keeps me moving! And because he needs to keep moving, this is an everyday thing.

My Medal: Bronze. Though Teddy keeps moving and could go on forever, he does make a lot of stops... slowing me down.


7. Backstroke Dish Washing
That's right. Go back and stroke those dishes again, because you didn't get all the food off the first time.

My Medal: Silver.  Just like what I am washing. I do a good enough job of cleaning dishes, but I really do get tired of doing them.


​8. Grocery Weight Lifting
Yes, I am one of those. I would rather dislocate both my shoulders than take multiple trips in from the car carrying groceries. I've got this down. I just have to make sure not to have more kids/mouths to feed. Though, the stakes are raised as they become teenagers.

My Medal: Gold. I've got this. Tons of experience carrying things from the baby/toddler years.


9. Trash Can Diving
Mostly because I have a daughter with Type 1 Diabetes, I often have to go back to the trash can to pick out wrappers and find the carb count on her snack/meal.

My Medal: Silver. I'm pretty new at this, and honestly, I get a little lazy, since the trash doesn't get taken out all that often. But my form can't be beat!
 

10. Baseball
Just because baseball should be in every Olympics. ;) 

My Medal: Bronze. I still feel like I could have been on the 1996 softball team. But I'm a little older now... and baseball is not really softball ... so really I am just stealing a medal here.


I have a feeling there are plenty more that could be added here, but this is a decent start to make us moms feel like we are really good at what we do. What would you add to this list?

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