Earlier this week, I shattered my left wrist. (Fortunately I am right-handed.) I have only been without the use of my left hand for 3 days now, but I am amazed at how useless I have been rendered in some areas.
Now, of course, there is plenty I can still do, if maybe just not as well, and they feel like major victories. I can still clean bathrooms and litter boxes, so you do not need to fear coming by my house. (Though I have been too tired to keep the place picked up. Just look past the clutter if you can.) And typing isn't too bad, for now.
Some problems I remember from when I broke my hand in 10th grade, but that was 25 years ago. New problems have arisen since becoming an adult and a mother.
There are also plenty obvious tasks that I have not included, such as clapping or painting/trimming the nails on my right hand. (And why are all those nails suddenly breaking?? That's just not funny.) And of course, a softball glove won't even fit over my splinted hand, God's way, I'm sure, of REALLY making sure I don't try to rush back in. But I decided to list a few important jobs stripped away which you might not think of right away.
In my desire for you to not be caught off-guard, should you find yourself with a broken wrist, allow me to warn you what you might be in for. Even though this took me twice as long to type with my one good hand, it is worth it for your well-being.
I Simply Cannot:
1. Open Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.
This is a problem. Really a problem.
2. Open one of the many child-proof caps.
How many of these things are there? Seriously. The baby oil needs to be protected? And the irony of not being able to open the bottle of my pain meds is really not amusing.
3. Put in a ponytail.
Sorry, daughters. Let's hope this summer isn't too hot.
4. Cut meat.
Yep, it really does come full circle, doesn't it? I was cutting meat for my kids just yesterday. (Not an exaggeration.) Now my kids smirk as they take control over my meals.
5. Fill an insulin syringe.
I wasn't great at this to begin with. Having to give over the responsibility to my husband, I really pray I don't fall out of practice so much that I forget how to do it!
6. Know the correct amount of shampoo that goes onto your head.
This is crazy. Hold the bottle above your head and squirt away. When you then use that one good hand to massage it in, you will have a pretty good idea how the rest of your day will go.
Okay, so I may or may not follow this one, but I think it's not recommended.
8. Drain a pot of pasta
Learned this the hard way. If you think you need to test me on it, you should at least wait until the water cools, so it doesn't burn your foot…
9. Wash dishes (well)
I wish I could say I can't scrub bathrooms. Or clean cat litter. Or fold laundry. I can still do all that - it just takes longer and doesn't come out so great. Same goes for the dishes, only now we're talking about a hygiene issue, so… hey, kids…
10. Tie Shoes
I'm glad all of my kids are finally to the age where I don't need to do this for them, but again, it's a little weird to have them do it for me. Still better than asking the trainer at the gym to please tie my shoes the way the kindergarteners in my class used to when I taught. Slip on sneakers, anyone?
Put seriously, let's give a shout out to the right hip, left elbow, and teeth for their performances standing in for the left hand. (And no worries for the fans of my "Body Language" humor series - I'll be working on at least one new chapter for it!) Otherwise, tooth brushing would not be happening. And no one wants that.
I'm sure I will be finding more issues as the weeks go on. If you have been in my shoes (or gloves) before, you might care to warn me of what else might lie ahead for me in the comments below.
Because I love even numbers and lists!